Back to the Book

After having other issues hinder me from my book writing, I am back at the job. One problem is that I spend so much time re-reading and editing further what has already been done, that I have a hard time getting anything new accomplished.

After again re-working chapters 16 and 17 which are Days 1 and 2 of the actual trip, I am trying to get Day 3 finished. I’m a little disappointed in myself. Although I tried to record much, I know that the more time goes by, the more that I am not going to be able to also pull from memory. Already the trip seems like it happened years ago.

I’m trying to work with photos and my mind is reeling with options. Working for the newspaper has taught me to pay more attention to space; the more space used, the more expensive. At the moment, I’m stuck between doing two photos per page or if I should do smaller pictures. The size of the book will be 7 x 10, so to do more pictures per page might make them too difficult to see.

I’m also concerned about the size of the book. I want to include so much. Story, a little history, lots of photos… I can’t help but wonder if this endeavor will end up being too expensive. I’ve also been putting a black frame around the photos to make them show up more. I know that also takes up more space.

I’m working on the Skyline Drive story and photos. Oh, I want to use a lot of photos. I just wish I wouldn’t get so stuck in my mind on whether to do this or that. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to do what is the norm, what everyone else does. Most of the time, it’s either a picture book or a story. I want to do it all together. I want people to see the pictures as they’re reading the text.

Will it sell?

Well, back to the grind. I am thinking that if I get the text done and pictures placed, I can worry about actual size and alignment later. It’s hard when I don’t have someone right here, in the moment, to give advice and suggestions. Such as it is.

Butterflies and Trains

This morning while journaling I once again compare myself to a butterfly flitting from flower to flower. I then think that I’m more like a fat bumble bee. No. Although physically I am not as fragile as a butterfly, my ego is very delicate. One wrong move, look, or negative criticism can leave me feeling as if someone has pulled off my wings.

I go from project to project never staying on one any length of time. Like the butterfly, I may go back to that same flower to do more work, but I still feel like I am all over the place. Even when I move on to another project, I am always thinking of all the other ones, thinking that I’ve got to go back and finish getting the nectar off those others. Then again, there are the ones I’ve not reached yet.

I think about those unfinished projects wondering how I’m going to get back to them when there are many more coming up. Each one is still on my mind even when I’m working on something new. It’s like my brain is taking on more weight as I feel I add more and more without accomplishing much. (It’s called stress.)

Nan and I were talking about multi-tasking and when is that a wonderful ability and when is it detrimental to the psyche. We live in a society where that ability to multi-task and the measurement of accomplishments are the determination of success.

I think about how I think and all the work I’ve done in my brain. I think so much that I feel I’ve done six months’ worth of work in one day. When 85% of the work is in the mind, who will know? Our accomplishments are measured by what can be seen and thoughts are unseen. I may feel I do 12 hours worth of work and look at the clock to see only three hours have passed.

In those cases, it seems that a railroad runs through my head. Freight trains rumble through noisy and non-stop carrying a myriad of ideas and thoughts. Some are like passenger trains giving me glimpses in the windows. I want to remember faces, but the train goes by too fast. Sometimes, the train stops and ideas get off, but if I am busy and don’t meet the passenger at that moment, he gets back on the train and that memory is gone. I feel like I’ve missed the train too many times.

When I’m working (whether writing, doing jobs for the paper, drawing, editing photos, etc.,) or driving or cleaning the house, my mind is constantly going. If I don’t meet the train, those thoughts disappear. I can’t write them all down. I can’t try to know everyone on the train and I keep feeling disappointed because I’ve lost those opportunities.

I just think way too much.

   

Decisions Decisions

For a week or so, among everything else I had to do, was the decision of who to self publish my book through. One previous book was done through blurb.com, but that company does not offer ISBNs although one can be bought elsewhere and copied and pasted. I did one book through lulu.com, but somehow wasn’t totally satisfied. Subsequent printings were done through a local printer. This time, I am also considering Amazon’s createspace.com because that might give better sales opportunities.

I spend so much time hemming and hawing over these decisions that I feel I am falling behind. Not that I have any real deadline with this book, it’s just I want to get to the meat and potatoes. Right now I am debating over book size. My favorite size and the one that is considered most popular is 6 x 9. However, if it is partly a picture book, should I go with a bigger size? Arrghh!

This is why I sometimes do not get things accomplished. Issues that I think should be simple become major obstacles. I get stuck in not being able to decide and eventually another project distracts me.

I don’t want that to happen this time!

Any suggestions?