The But Bites

I’ve been a bit… dead… creatively. I received my manuscript back from the proofreader and the critique was what I feared. I knew it and yet I’m still devastated. I haven’t been able to think rationally about it, nor have I been able to look at it since. So both my writing and my drawing are dead at the moment and my photography has even stalled.

Except for one saving grace – I am participating in a 100 Photos 100 Days challenge and that is keeping the creative spark alive. This photography challenge has me looking at things differently which is good as everything I normally take pictures of is not inspiring me lately. 

This challenge is to do only one photo per day (or only one photo can be posted) and what’s great about it is that I don’t even have to leave the house. It’s interesting to see what I can come up with close at hand to photograph. And yes, my kitty, Pele, certainly loves to have her picture taken and I can’t resist. There are four of us currently working on this and it’s fun to see what we post to the Facebook page. We are inspiration for each other.

But, to get back to writing – I AM writing; writing is ME. I am nobody without my writing, so what does this mean that I’ve come up against a major roadblock?

I watched a Hay House video on publishing the other day and one of the comments that stuck out was that Gabriel is the angel of writers. I began praying to him for help and for the past few nights, I’ve had a recurring nightmare. Is it related? (Unfortunately, I don’t remember the dream upon waking. Only the deep emotions stick with me.)

What was weird about last night’s dream is that even after I woke, I kept trying to finish it. Why? If it’s a nightmare, why do I feel the need to finish it? And, of course, once awake, I could not fully go back there. Stop! I told myself and got out of bed to break that negative flow. 

Tears were falling when I crawled back under the covers. It was time to change my thoughts to a positive. I focused on what I want to manifest in my life. Writing a book, writing books, is at the top of the list, and the words that came through to me were, “Finish the book. Buckle down and fix it!”

I’m afraid. I’m afraid to pick up the manuscript and read the comments made by the proofreader. Oh, it’s done with the best intent and to help me be a better writer. I know that and I appreciate her help more than a thank you can say. I know this is just a challenge. I can do it!

Manuscript Finished, But…

This morning I am feeling… a bit overwhelmed, a little down, somewhat scared… I’ve come to the not fun part.

The main manuscript is finished. I completed it (except for the epilogue, tables of content, and title) on Tuesday. Yesterday I did another read-through and made a couple corrections. The major portion is done. I’m struggling with the epilogue and what would be written on the back cover to capture readers’ attention. I’m still unsure about the title. And I am feeling anxious about the next step of taking all the Word docs and putting them in InCopy.

Epilogue, the ending, the conclusion should be fairly easy, but my mind is either blank or all over the place. So much went on this last year with the move and all. The table of contents is just listing the chapter and also making a list of photos (which I still need to decide which to use). The title – from the first I was thinking “Not Too Cold for Alligators” because I saw many more alligators on this trip than the one in 2013 – but is this title too close to the last book “Too Cold for Alligators?” This isn’t really a sequel and while similar, it’s a totally different book.

Windows freezes up if documents get too long, so each chapter was written as a separate document. Now, it’s time to actually put it all together in one full manuscript. I used Open Office for “Too Cold for Alligators,” but with the acquisition of Adobe Creative Cloud, I have more options. I’m just so… apprehensive about learning these new programs, starting with InCopy and Lightroom. 

The actual writing is the easy, fun part for me. Now it’s time for the technical aspects of putting the book together and that’s what spins my head around. I can’t even put my mind on it at this moment, but I am already anxious to move on to another book (the actual traveling and writing which I enjoy immensely), but I have to get this one done first.

I’m almost tempted to say, I wrote it, now move on to the next. I can’t do that, though. I have to publish. After all, that’s the intent of writing a book. I. Have. To. Publish.