Consumed by Writing

“Writing consumes me in a way that no other form of art does.” – Sasha Wolfe

It’s interesting to reflect on how I approach the different aspects of my – talents. The three major components of my art life are writing, photography, and charcoal landscape drawing. Each one is very different although the photography and writing often blend in together.  

When I am working on a drawing, I have to walk away and forget it for awhile. I reach a point where I dislike the drawing and I fill with self-criticism over the work. I have to get away from it before I get so frustrated that I destroy it. Unfortunately, I sometimes leave it for too long, but I almost always go back and finish… eventually.

Photographs are always on-going between the editing and deciding what to do with picture. Those decisions play a part in how I edit. For instance, if the photograph is for the newspaper, the publisher likes to do her own editing so all I need to do is reduce the size for emailing and save it to 240 dpi. If I’m posting to Facebook, I edit and reduce, the size, and if I remember, add my Sasha Wolfe Fine Art & Photography line to it. I leave the dpi at 72. For regular prints, the editing will be determined by what I am printing and which printer it will be printed on. I am still able to easily go on to something else although I can get caught up in the editing and hours will pass.

But with writing… writing consumes me or I become the writing. The current topic stays with me and I’m almost living and breathing it. I relive the journey. I am constantly thinking about how I can improve the story or I’m coming up with more ideas to enhance the project. I think about doing more research or finding someone to interview. I wonder where to go next or how to arrange the individual articles. I think about the pictures; how many I can use and which ones are the best.

The thinking takes on a life of its own. I do more thinking than actual writing sometimes. My mind is working while I’m preparing lunch, doing dishes, or working on other projects. It creeps into my dreams. The writing is all I want to talk about and I have a number of writing projects going on at the same time.

This isn’t just with the current projects, but also fiction stories. Those stories also follow me like the vapor trails following an airplane. It’s like I can put myself in those stories and actually live what I am trying to write about. No matter where I go, the stories are there and at any moment, I can bring myself back to that point.

It’s hard to drag me away from the computer sometimes. I spend hours researching history segments to add to my current writing projects. I go over and over what I’ve written proofreading and editing. I cannot read the chapter without making changes. At this rate, I’ll never finish. But I will. I’m pushing myself.

Maybe this is why it feels like I have a built-in switch in my brain and by late afternoon, the switch is flipped to off and I cannot work anymore. Of course, this doesn’t mean I stop thinking. The thoughts just become more fragmented. I have to read or watch tv to get away from it. Then come 5 a.m. and the I am once more turned on to words and ideas. I want to write and write and even when the words won’t come, I still want to write.

It excites me, inspires me, and gives me a reason to live with joy.

Random Day Trip Project Update

I went off on my longest day trip since I started this project. I’ve dozens of stories I’ve written over the past years. I’m trying to pull some of them together while adding new ones. This is all while also working towards finishing the book of the past winter’s travels.

My mind always fills with questions. Today I am stuck with finding more information about the towns I visit or travel through. The internet only gives me small pieces usually through Wikipedia. A few towns have histories on-line, but the research is time consuming. It’s disappointing to spend a lot of time on the internet and not find any information.

My style of working is to do little planning in advance. I want to visit an area with as little pre-conceptions as possible. The trips are in exploration. I love the surprise of discovery. This is my own way at being an explorer and within the next few days afterwards, I try to dig up more information and history about the area. It’s funny because I always have the “Wish I had…” regrets, but a major part of these trips is about my spontaneity. If I stopped for everything that caught my eye to photograph, I couldn’t get very far.

So, no regrets, right? These are day trips and I can always go back for a second visit or if I pass through a place on my way to somewhere else, I can return there, too. That happened on this recent journey. I passed through three towns to which I want to return to highlight that area.

This is a learning process, and not just about the towns and areas. I’m stretching my mental boundaries, too. Each trip is teaching me to be a better writer. The irony, though, is in not going back and rewriting previous stories every time I get a “new” idea on how to improve the storytelling. If I keep going back and re-editing what’s already been written, I’ll never get anywhere and there’s still so much territory to cover.

This project is going to take my whole life. I may never get it all done.

Working Styles

This morning while doing my writing, a realization came to me. Oh, I have known this, but I often didn’t talk about this one aspect of how I work because… I was a bit ashamed to admit it. This realization came to the forefront while I was trying to figure out how to describe, after the fact, some of the sights that I’ve seen in my traveling and in my photography. How do I describe things for which I have no names?

My revelation is that I tend to get in, get out, and move on. I visit a place and only take time to scratch the surface. I take many photographs of what catches my attention in the moment. I don’t plan or study the situation.

Why do I feel guilty? Because most of the professional photographers I know take their time to study the light, plan their shots, and concentrate on preliminary work. The “real” writers spend hours researching an area and talking to locals.  I feel these types of people will look down on me if they know I zip in and zip out; that I do my work later in cropping and editing on the computer and doing a little research on the web for bits of history.

But why should I have to feel ashamed of my working style? I don’t have to. This is the way I work and I enjoy what I do. There’s nothing wrong with that. In further thinking about this and writing in my journal, it’s brought to the surface that my travel writing and photography styles are similar. After all, this is who I am; it’s how I work. Why should I expect one to be different from the other?

I visit a place and because there are so many other places I want to visit and so many miles to travel and because I limit myself to a few hours a day, I do tend to hurry. It’s who I am, how I work. Yes. I get so excited about what I see. I want to share this excitement and joy with everyone! I can’t wait to get home to write all about it and look at and edit the photos.

So many times, because I don’t always do preliminary research, I get to an area and don’t have the names for the flora and fauna. I get stuck on trying to describe something for which I have no names. But isn’t that what describing is all about? Hey, I’m a writer. It’s my job to describe, so why don’t I take the time?

One of the reasons I take a lot of photographs is to help me remember later what I saw. With digital photography, I can take the time for photos that won’t be used for prints and will only be used for reference.

Why am I struggling with descriptions in my writing? Why am I struggling to find words? Again, here’s an admission – I’m in too much of a hurry. I hurry to write the story without looking at the photos. I will edit the photos and sometimes put them with the writing, but at that point, I don’t take the time to look close at the photos to get down to that detail for writing better descriptions. By the time I’ve written the story draft, then proofread and edited a couple times, I’m ready for the next adventure. Like those adventures, the stories are “get in, get out, move on.” Not that the writing goes quick. I often spend hours writing one and that’s without trying to be more descriptive.

I envy those writers who have the ability to be wonderfully descriptive in their narratives. William Least Heat Moon in his book, Blue Highways, wrote beautiful descriptions of what he saw along U.S. back roads. Duncan Dayton followed the trail of Lewis and Clark in his book, Out West. Lewis and Clark certainly had to be descriptive in their traveling as white men had no names for what they discovered.

For the most part, I want my photographs to show what I saw. However, there’s a cost issue in putting numerous photos in a book with a lot of text. I have to be aware of the print costs, which means watching page counts and comparing the cost of color to black and white.

So, this is where I am today. I have six books in process at the moment. The big one is the adventure south that I took this past winter which is taking me months to write. Cost is one of the biggest issues with this book as I’ve had to re-vamp my original goal of having many colored photographs along with the story. I wanted to have the photos show what I saw along the journey, but no one would be able to afford to buy the book. Now I am removing most the photographs and the ones I’m keeping will be black and white. I do plan to do a color picture book sharing photos of the journey.

I am also working on another travel book, plus I have four other themed picture books in the works.

Am I crazy for taking on so many projects? Probably. BUT, I get such joy in sharing the wonderful sights I see from the beautiful scenery to animals and birds to run down buildings and more. There’s so much I want to see and do while I’m still able. I am in the later part of life and I want to celebrate the beauty around me. It’s said, “Stop and smell the roses.” I say, yes, that’s great, but also appreciate some of the other sights, too, like things that are rusty, things found on the ground, look up, look down and let yourself wonder.

Every day I look out my window and say, “How beautiful the countryside.” I want to share this beauty, this love of life and of what’s around me.

My working style is “get in, get out, and move on.” After all, there’s so much more to see and more adventures to undertake. Life is good!

Success Plans and How-to Books

I’ve never been one to follow written directions well. When I was younger and worked a “real” job, I always found it easier for someone to show me the process and let me take notes so the directions would be in “my” words. That is true for today, too.

In learning and developing my artistic talents, I’ve never taken many professional workshops. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t want my head stuffed with information I am not currently going to use. It’s a waste of time and money as what’s not used is often forgotten. (At least this is my belief.) So, when I need to know something, I find someone to teach me that little bit.

Today, there are many DIY (do it yourself) and how-to books out there. This is definitely a DIY world now and of course, all the ads make it look easy. It’s never easy for me and I wonder if others have troubles, too.

The latest how-to book I’ve read started out very well with explanations for some simple things like the importance of copyrights and the differences between ISBN and EAN numbers. There was even a list of terms and their meanings. However, as I got further along in the book, there were other terms used which I felt I should know, but didn’t. Then there are sections that don’t pertain to me or my project, but there was enough gray area and I sometimes couldn’t really tell. I began to wonder…

There’s a lot of money to be made in self-help and DIY books. There’s a big market for that now-a-days.

I began to wonder about some authors’ intent on writing these books. (And I don’t mean all, but some, if any… okay, maybe this is my own thinking and it comes from my trust issues.) People who work hard all their lives and come up through the ranks, so to speak, how willing are they to give away all their secrets? How many feel that as they worked for years to get where they are, why should others get a free pass?

On the other side of the coin, most successful people do want to share their expertise. But, by the time they are “professional,” how many of the steps have become so automatic that they don’t realize that some readers may not fully understand? There’s the terminology, too. The author knows exactly what he means and assumes that the reader will, too. Also, he doesn’t want the book to sound juvenile. He can’t assume the reader knows nothing because that’s a turn-off for those who know something.

Where’s the line? When I started working for the newspaper, I was told to “Write as if the reader knows nothing. Write as if writing for sixth graders.” Okay, that’s for a newspaper, but what about DIY books? Is it assumed that a person buying a DIY book knows something?

When I worked on a marketing plan for my charcoal drawings, I decided to write a step by step article on how I did the drawings and what tools and materials were used. It often occurs to me that most people have no clue about the processes of many artists. They assume that the artist picks up a pencil or paintbrush and just begins to work. They have no concept as to the amount of work that goes into the preparation; how much planning and study goes into the piece before the actual drawing or painting takes place.

Even hearing the first terms, people make assumptions; we all do it. For instance, I mention I do charcoal drawings and people assume I use pencils. (I do, but only a little in the very end for intricate detail.) Someone mentions they do watercolor paintings and most people picture those little watercolor sets we used as kids. A photographer is seen as someone who just takes snapshots, and in this digital world, she only has to download onto the computer and print. Some photographers still do darkroom work and again, most people do not fully understand what that means and the time spent in creating the perfect shot. Editing work on the computer can be very time consuming, too. Nothing is an easy, one, two, three, done process.

So, this week with my purchase of a DIY book about publishing a book, I have found more questions than what the book could answer. The author has been most generous in offering clarification, but even he cannot supply me with all the information I need for my project. (Leave it to me to start off with a huge, complicated piece of work.) What’s been most hard for him, I think, is that I needed explanations on terms that many people probably already know. It’s been frustrating for me because I think I should know. I’ve been a writer and photographer for years and I’ve been using the computer for years and yet, there’s still so much I don’t know, AND I have to understand the terms in my own words.

I am determined not to give up. Once I “get it,” I’ll have it down. I’ve been working on this project too long to let it fall by the wayside. Plus, learning this aspect will allow me to write and design more books. I already have another in the works. I’m excited about being able to do this all myself.

Writing Between Adventures

My brain is going 'round and 'round with ideas and things to do and project to finish and... Ughhhhh, breathe in, take a deep breath, let it out slowly, relax. I can't even think of the Open Studio Tour on September 21 and 22. I am so caught up in getting the book finished and putting my day trip stories together for the next book. I don't even have one book finished and the next one already has many chapters. Aiieeeee!

What's this doing to my other art projects? I do have printed photos ready to mat and there are two big drawings on the stand-up easels that had been started last year and there's two new ones in process on a table easel. There's the one I had considered finished before I went on my trip in January, but now that I look at it, I may work on it more. No, wait, I have to leave that one be and finish these others.

But what about my paperwork and filing? It's been piling up since the first of the year and I haven't made any effort in recording the information and putting the papers away. The only thing I have recorded this year has been mileage.

My mind is like a north-point needle and keeps going back to THE book. I can't get my questions answered. I know what I want to accomplish, but I don't know if it is feasible. What if I've spent all these months working on this and it turns out it's too expensive to print, let alone have anyone be able to buy it?

I want to go off on more day trip adventures. There's places I want to go, sites I want to visit, and people to meet. I want to explore old ruins and find where the trains once ran. I want to write about these adventures and take many photographs of my findings. I want to research history of the area and talk to residents.

But THE book has to be finished! I can't abandon it. I've put too much effort into it and there are people who are waiting to buy copies... if I can keep the price affordable.

This is so difficult. I am a person who works in-the-moment and I have to do things when I'm inspired or it all falls into the black hole of dreams-that-never-came-to-fruition. Right now I want to jump in the truck and head out, but I have an interview/adventure on the books for Friday, so I really need to stay in and get other work done today.

Oh, life is so fraught with decisions, ha ha. At least I am out of my funk and feeling good and excited about life again.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

I have spent months working on my book with the goal to publish through createspace.com, a division of amazon. I chose CS because of the better marketing opportunities through amazon. My last book was originally done through lulu.com, but I had to do my own marketing – which meant I'd take the books to shows or sold to friends and people I'd meet. It looked like the CS design was similar with dropping text and photos into a template. I chose the size book I wanted and downloaded the corresponding CS template. I copied and pasted the first sections from MS Word to the template. Then came the hiatus in which I dealt with loss and grief, but I eventually got back to it. I have other books building inside me that need to be written. This one needs to get completed. I feel that if I don't finish this that I will be a loser for the rest of my life. I HAVE TO DO THIS!

For the most part, the writing of the book is finished. It's been edited and proofread a number of times. Nan, who helped with the editing, noticed a couple discrepancies in my math when recording the mileage of my trip. She also graciously drew maps for me. In my, what I was hoping would be, final read-through to correct the mileage errors, add the maps, and copy and paste each section into the template, Word started Auto Recovering every change I made and that was not quick. I'd be in the middle of something or trying to move back to the next chapter to do the final edit, and the template file would do an Auto Recovery. I have a lot of photographs in the book so this made the process and the wait long. Every time I added another section to the template, there would be a long wait. I was not even half way through loading onto the template and if it is this slow now, how would it be the further along I got?

I went to the CS website which I found confusing and I had difficulty finding answers. I finally went to the community forum and spent hours reading. Nothing seemed to fit exactly what I was doing, so I posted my first questions in a forum. I received answers, but they confused me further. I don't understand some of the terminology. For instance, what does it mean to “Format/Anchor the photo as a Character?”

The first thing I was told was to not use MS Word, but to download a free Open Office program, which I did. However, when I tried to copy and paste my Word docs with the photos to Open Office, the photos bled past the margins and I couldn't fix them. Further conversations ensued and I was given good advice, however, I became more confused. I was given formulas to figure out margins. I was told I could download a different template, but I'd have to re-configure the inside margins. What? How? Why? I'm even more confused. If templates are available, why would I have to re-do or re-format margins?

I was also confused about the pictures. When I edit and save, I often reduce the size for e-mailing and posting purposes and even though I do that, I can never seem to get it through my thick skull what exactly that means. I've asked often and I never seem to get an answer that clarifies it. If my photos are imported at 5184 x 3456, I'd reduce the size to 2592 x 1728. I also save any that I am going to print as 300 dpi.

So the next question is, what does this do for printing in a book that will be less than 8 ½ x 11 inches? Will these photos still be okay? Or do I have to go back and re-edit the original photo and save it in its full size, still at 300 dpi? The biggest a photo will probably be is 5 x 8 inches if that. One person said that I need to multiply width times length and divide by 300 to know what size the picture will print. Huh?

I spent time during the long weekend trying to decide what my next steps would be. Should I convert everything to Open Office? Should I re-do all the photos? (I have 187, not counting the maps which are also JPEGs in the book. The maps are full size.) During the time of decision, I figured I could keep working in Word and finish the text edit making sure I had the mileage correct and was consistent in the use of route and interstate where appropriate. However, Word kept going “unresponsive” and the program froze.

I was back on the forum after the weekend. I am unsure as to some of the terminology they are using. What I am deducing is that if you are doing a book with just text or having only a couple of pictures, it can be done in MS Word and the CS template used. However, if it's to be a book with a lot of photographs, then it needs to be done in Open Office and “printed” to a PFD creator. “Printed” in the term means created as a PDF file.

I've also come to the conclusion, which was also alluded to in the forum, that CS makes it sound easy, but they are really pushing the purchase of their various publishing services... which is not cheap. So, if you really want to do your own design work, other ways need to be found.

A decision needed to be made. I am so tired of MS Word crashing on me. Okay, so this means I have to remove the photos and maps from my text documents, then copy and paste the document to Open Office. Once that's all set to my liking, I can insert the photos and maps back into the document. I ordered the book one of the guys wrote on how to design a book using Open Office which gives step by step directions with pictures. I am hoping this will answer my questions about templates and photo sizes. He said he does a lot of book designs for people and it's expensive. I figure as I plan on doing more books, I should learn to do it all myself.

Like I need another project!

Portrait Photography

I've never considered myself much of a portrait photographer although I've taken some very good pictures of the kids and grandkids throughout the years. I've occasionally photographed others for one project or another and now, with my work through the newspaper, I am taking more people pictures.

The way I work isn't conducive to good portrait photography. When I go out on a photo shoot, whether for the paper or on my own, I carry as little as possible. The camera is slung over my neck and shoulder and a small notebook and pens are stuffed into my pockets. There isn't any lens changing or flubbing around with a tripod. I don't “set a scene” or use external flash. Seldom do I want my subjects looking at the camera. I prefer candid shots where I can capture a spontaneous moment. That means the photos I take are very in-the-moment and quick. I take dozens of pictures. The notebook comes out for jotting down names and comments. For me, it's like a treasure hunt because I don't know what I'm going to find when I sit down to do the editing. So, when the layers are finally peeled away and a wonderful picture is discovered, I am filled with joy and excitement.

A comment I often hear is, “I don't take a very good photograph.” I usually think that myself. Sometimes I have to convince people, and do so without being pushy. (After all, we are taught not to like our own image. How would cosmetic companies make money if we think we look good enough?) I never want to force people to do anything. But I also totally believe that there is beauty in everybody!

I am an artist! If the person is caught in the right moment, with the right expression on his face, and in an interesting light, the photograph can be beautiful. It may take many photos to get the right image. I love capturing the character in people's faces, especially older people. There is life in these pictures and story behind the expressions. These people have lived through thick and thin. They've experienced a lot. I am drawn in.

I tell people that I never keep a picture in which the person doesn't look good. I don't like goofy pictures or ones that are detrimental to the person. Many pictures are good enough for the newspaper, but every once in awhile, I'll get one in which I feel is a true work of art. I am fascinated. This leads to another side of the subject – permissions.

There are two types of work that I do. One is for the newspaper and the paper's Facebook page. The images are used within a short time frame and usually have to do with area events or interviews. Photos on news print paper are usually grainy and fine details are often lost. Facebook photos are posted at a lower dpi, so again, there is less detail. For these photos, I usually get verbal permission with names to be printed.

The second type of work is from an artist's standpoint. These photos may not be used right away. It may take a long time before I am ready to do a book of photographs or arrange a show of portraits. The quality of the paper on which these images will be printed will be higher allowing more detail and beauty. I will still need permission, but in these instances, the names of the people probably won't be used. It's more about the expressions and character in the face that draws my artist's eye with the pictures being given titles, not the person's name. It's not so much about that person as it is about the art of her expression.

I've done research on permissions and there are different views out there on how other photographers go about this topic, which I'm not going to go into here. For me, this is an issue of ethics. I don't like the thought that my picture is being taken without permission. I don't even like knowing that I am being photographed at traffic lights. I feel that's an invasion of privacy and it just feels wrong and intrusive! It certainly doesn't make me feel safe!

I want to honor other people's feelings. I want to show their beauty. My... problem... is when I'm in my shy modes I don't dare talk to people. I don't like getting in people's faces, and yet, I am intrigued by these pictures I am sometimes able to capture and for that, I need to ask. I feel I miss out on a lot when I don't dare approach someone. I'm getting better! I love what I do and when I can see awesomeness in a person's face, I am incredibly pleased. I want everyone to see that beauty.