Tuesday, July 28, 2015
This past week was a major crash and burn as the stress got to me. I had a total meltdown. I know finding a new home isn’t easy, but I really believed I was looking for something more simple. In a way, I am, but simple and small isn’t necessary sellable and most homes, like everything else being marketed for future re-sale, is for average people and average families. I am not average. I get so tired of hearing, “Well, you have to think about resale value.”
I don’t care about resale! I want this to be my last move. Why does everything have to be geared towards what the next person will want? Yes, I crashed realizing that I will have to settle for less than in an area I don’t want.
I gave in to despair and depression on July 20 feeling I will never be able to get what I want in a home (unless I could afford to spend a lot of money and build from scratch). I just can’t wrap my head around that a small house with less property costs as much as a bigger house with larger acreage. It’s like people who are wanting to go smaller are pushed into over 55 communities or places with large association fees or places that are more like camps. (I would like a 55 plus community if there was one in the area, but location, extra fees, and lack of privacy are major concerns.)
I spend days perusing nneren.com looking for possible homes. Maybe I am too picky. “You have to compromise,” I keep being told. But does compromise mean I don’t get anything that I want? How can I not be depressed? I spent the past year making lists of what I want in a dream home and yes, I know I do have to compromise on some things, but this process is killing me.
I went house hunting over the weekend. Nothing “spoke” to me. There were more cons about the places than the pros. I gave up on living in the area I want, but couldn’t I at least get a house I like, at the price I can afford? I’m beginning to doubt I can. There isn’t anything out there that fits me.
My heart is breaking. It looks like I’ll have to leave my beloved Kearsarge/Sunapee area. This coming weekend I have to make a decision and put in an offer on something… anything… and learn to live with it.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
I have to move out of this house in six weeks. That’s not a lot of time. I’ve looked and looked and I’m frustrated beyond belief. It’s to the point where headaches won’t go away and my stomach is in such knots that I feel sick.
What makes it harder with the time frame is that most likely I will have to rent a place for awhile before I find my forever home. That means more expense; not only finding a small place for me ’n kitty, but renting a place to store the majority of my possessions and the insurance to cover that. That will all drain my finances leaving me less for my forever home.
I’m looking for a forever home. My sons would like to see me go into a 55+ community. I’m fussy about my privacy and often those places are so close together with no privacy between the homes. I am thinking I may have to compromise. I am now thinking that the house itself is more important than the location. If I’m not happy inside my home, what does the location matter? Especially as I work from home and spend a lot of time inside.
Yesterday I did the go-around (in my mind) about home owner’s associations and covenants. Not that they’re bad, it’s just more rules and regulations. Some are telling me that there are regulations where they live and it’s not so bad.
I’ve spent hours online looking at homes for sale. People keep telling me to actually go and look, but how can I look at something that doesn’t appeal to me?
I have gone to a couple of places and looked at modular/manufactured home models. This has helped me get a better feel of what type of space would suit me. There are a number of questions that still need to be answered.
The biggest issue is finding a piece of land and getting done all that would be necessary. It’s a huge endeavor, but to have something new and arranged to suit me is exciting and would be so wonderful. The land situations would be same if I built. Timing is an issue in either of these scenarios.
What’s been awesome is the support and suggestions I receive. I feel guilty when I have to say I don’t like a home someone has told me about, but a good thing about it is that it helps me to really know what I do want.
I appreciate that family and friends are willing to put up with me as I go through this process. There are times when I am a wreck. I can’t “throw in the towel” because there is no choice. I have to move. I can’t help being scared and frustrated.
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
The stress of the house hunt is getting to me. I just want to cry all the time. I’m a real basket case when it comes to things like this.
I found a piece of land that I really like, but there’s a home owner’s association and that turns me off big time. Thinking about it kept me waking up all night. If it’s affecting me like this, it must not be the right move. Drat. The piece of land was what I’d be willing to spend, but the bull shit associated with HOAs is unbelievable. My stomach is so much in knots that eating makes me feel sick. The headaches are constant. Then to have to pay a $600/yr. association fee… who knows where it will stop.
Inside I’m freaking over the entire situation. It’s bad enough to have to move, but to not be able to find anyplace I like is almost unbearable. Then to add to it all, I’m going to have to rent before I buy which means putting money into that instead of all into a new home. So, not only do I have to find a couple rooms for Pele-kitty and I for a few months, I’ll have to get rental space for my possessions. There goes any extra money I was trying to keep aside.
I’m heart-sick and brain dead.
Friday, July 10, 2015
The deadline for my having to be out of this house draws ever closer. There is still much to pack and I still can’t find my dream house. It’s hard not to be discouraged and I spend a lot of time in tears. I know I have to stay positive and trust something good will happen.
There aren’t any homes out there that I feel comfortable purchasing. If I’m going to spend almost every penny I have, I would like to get at least close to what I want. I’m really beginning to doubt.
The biggest issue is that what most people want is not what I want. I am not cookie-cutter molded. I’m not average. That means whatever I want costs extra… and too often a lot extra. It always seems strange that here I am trying to go smaller and things cost more than if I went big.
I’ve been looking into the double-wide manufactured home route. Everything I want costs more money. They have a big list of standard features which is doable if you want the cheapest of cheap in appliances, and the color schemes are appalling (at least, to me).
I fell in love with the smallest model I could find. The layout would work great for me, but there is unusable/unreachable space. There is question about adding an attached garage. “Why do you want an attached garage?” the woman kept asking. Duh, I’m older, live in New Hampshire where there is cold and snow and in a small place, I’ll need the storage.
So it’s back to: go the manufactured route which entails buying land, clearing, well, septic, slab, and driveway along with all the necessary permits or settle into someone else’s home they no longer want. I’m beginning to think there’s nothing out there that fits me. Everything will cost me a lot to make it mine. (Then again, I have to admit I am a total basket case when it comes to any kind of real estate.)
What I need is a builder/contractor to take me on as a special project, a challenge, while staying within my budget. What they would get in return (besides being paid) is recognition and advertising. We would do an ongoing story about the progress in the newspaper and the newspaper would also give an amazing ad discount while the work was in progress.
This would be a unique opportunity for someone looking to enhance his business. The added bonus of having an ongoing story told about the process of building would also give readers information about building their own homes (even if it’s modular or manufactured). There’s so much involved and it’s very daunting.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Original plans had me thinking I would just hire a mover when the time came. However, with the sale of my current house being quick and not finding anything currently for sale that fits my wants and needs, I am having to look at other options. The new owner is already putting stuff in the garage I don’t have room to arrange what will be kept and what will be sold/gotten rid of. I don’t want to store things down cellar. Things need to come upstairs and I need to put it all some place. My living space is getting quite crowded.
I looked online for pods. Then there are the Go-Minis. I don’t know what to do. And, of course, the price worries me. Why does it have to always come down to cost? The thought of having to rent when I want to just put the money into buying and moving into my new home bothers me. But, as I don’t have a new home yet, and I have to get my stuff out of here, I need to consider my easiest options.
Everything comes down to lots or research and decision making and time is running short. I can’t devote all my time to this. I still have a job to do. I have to take time to meditate to clear my head. It all takes time: searching for a new home or land, deciding on rentals if I can’t get a new home in time, finding a contractor/builder, running around to physically look and spending more time looking online… Yikes, my brain goes on overload and I emotionally crash.
Sometimes… well, many times… I have such a hard time making decisions.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Why am I such an oddball?
The house hunting saga continues and my mind goes round and round with the issues. Yesterday was exciting as I went back up to Camelot in Tilton to re-look at the modular/manufactured homes. Nan McCarthy accompanied me. We had fun looking at the places, checking out the different cabinets, flooring, counters, appliances, wall colors, and floor plans. And although none are exactly what I want, there are a couple that could be very do-able and fit my needs.
I talked to my realtor, Laura Hallahan and found many towns have “snob laws” and do not allow single-wide manufactured homes. This is the case in the areas in which I want to live. Well, there went that idea. If I go this route, I will have to get the bigger double-wide (more taxes), but still cheaper than a modular. If I had a lot of money, I would definitely do a stick-built home. I will still add a deck, an attached garage, and maybe a small farmer’s porch depending on how much money is left..
Today I go back to looking at floor plans on other websites. It doesn’t take long to get discouraged. Plans are designed to fit the average person/family and do not fit me. I swear they make things easier and less expensive for families (they get breaks for being family) and single people have to settle for less-than, not get what they want, or have to “customize” to fit their needs – all of which means a lot more money. Why does smaller have to cost more? There’s something wrong with that concept.
Time constraint is a major issue. I now have the money to get something new (as long as it is small and within the available funds), but land needs to be purchased and cleared and septic needs to be designed and put in along with the drilled well. I am leaning towards a slab and not having to deal with a full foundation. I realize, too, that this is the time of year when contractors are booked and extremely busy. What are the chances I can get someone to help me now? Talk about impossible.
Does this mean I am going to have to settle for something I don’t want just because I have to move from here before September? Again, I feel the oddball for not being able to be satisfied with designs already in place.
Sometimes I just want to pile all my stuff out in the field, burn it, and run away and never come back. Can you tell I’m frustrated? I need a miracle.