Being Noticed

A year ago today, I made my second visit to Magnolia Gardens just outside of Charleston, S.C. This is another plantation area with wonderful gardens, trails, and old plantation house. On that second day, I spent time along the Audubon Swamp Trail following the board walk out through the swamp. I got a close-up look of duck weed which is one of the attractants for winter-migrating birds. I saw huge great blue heron nests high up in the trees. Wow, hard to imagine that these huge birds could build nests so far up. Here in New Hampshire, we see one, maybe two, of these birds, but at Magnolia Gardens, there were flocks! Magnolia Gardens is definitely a place I want to return and one of those places where you could spend three or four days taking it all in. I never did see everything.

This morning the thought most on my mind is:

“I want to be noticed more – in my writing, photography, and art.”

I never thought I would ever be saying anything like this! When I first took Tai Chi and the teacher would have ME in front of the class, I thought I would die of embarrassment. I was overweight by that time and very self-conscious. But it was me that the other students would come to when the teacher wasn’t available. I got it, got Tai Chi and evidently, others could tell. That was my first real experience that I was worthy; that I had something to offer. I wasn’t allowed to hide in the back of the class.

Even later in leading creativity groups, occasional adult-ed courses, and participating in open-mike poetry readings, I still was self conscious being in front of a crowd. I enjoyed it and was passionate about the topics I took on recognizing that we all have life experience to share. However, I still struggled with “putting myself out there.”

Since moving to Bradford and becoming a full-time artist, I have had to push myself forward. Yes, it’s very much a struggle. There’s a part of me that feels that promoting oneself is being arrogant. And yet, if I am to sell my work and make a living, I do have to push… a little… a lot… No, it isn’t easy, especially being super-shy and afraid of strangers and crowds. (That probably comes from my younger years when I was always ridiculed and put down.)

I used to be satisfied when one or two people would say they liked my work. I would feel good when someone said that something I wrote helped them with an issue they were dealing with. Yes, that pleases me, but one or two is no longer enough. Now that I am making (trying to) a living with my art, it is imperative that I improve with marketing.

This year I am determined to make a better effort. I want to be more comfortable around people. I want to learn how to deal with customers without seeming too pushy or that I don’t care. I want people to LIKE me! I want people to like my work and buy it. I love what I do! How many people can say that? Whether it is writing stories, writing about people I interview, taking pictures and putting the images on cards or making prints, knitting scarves, or drawing charcoal landscapes, I am extremely excited. I want to share the joy.

To see my latest efforts, visit my newly updated website. It now includes a gallery (which I will be adding to more often,) how to purchase section and a poetry page. Visit, www.sashawolfe.net. Thank-you.