A Myriad of Excuses

I am not alone; not in my thoughts, not in how I feel, not in what I experience. I am not the only one who feels overwhelmed with everything I want to accomplish. Some things I do totally from choice while others are a have-to – like having to go to the accountant, get groceries, pay bills, etc.

I may be physically alone when I am home and there are many times when I often feel alone in my head (like when I’m driving) – but I know I’m not. Others are a phone call, email, or FB message away. There is Spirit (God) that is everywhere. And yes, when I’m home there’s my kitty Pele for company.

Often, my writing is my way of talking to other, and, surprisingly, answers or a response sometimes comes through me onto the page (which I find exciting). Notice I say other and not others – other is… other-worldly which for many is like praying (which I also do) whether it’s to God or the Universe or Great Spirit. 

Today I sit here thinking about the myriad of projects I want to do… and obstacles (real or imagined) that keep from getting much done. There are times when I just feel overwhelmed and choose to do nothing. It’s kind of funny when I think about it. Is there a part of me that self-sabotages my efforts?

For instance, there are prints of photographs that I want to do. Then my mind-talk will go, “But then I’ll have to mat and frame them and that’s such a chore and not fun.” There is the book that has been written and photos need to be chosen, the cover to design, and the manuscript to ready for publishing. The mind-talk goes, “But to sit and go through pictures is so timely. I have to know where and how I’m publishing to do the set up.” There are drawings to finish and this mind-talk goes, “I have other things I want to do first. I would have to re-find the photos that I used for the drawing. Why do more drawings when I don’t know where to have them framed?”

And being alone, I can make up excuses not to get it done. There are items to move to get ready for the new carpeting coming this week. There are items to get ready to sell. I need to rearrange items in the kitchen. There is touch-up painting to do to fully finish the kitchen and utility room renovation. Oh, so many things that are not getting done.

Yet, there are things that I am accomplishing. I am getting some writing done. I get my weekly work for the InterTown Record done. I am keeping this kitchen cleaner that I ever have any other kitchen. I am making plans (in my head and writing lists) for upcoming projects.

Where am I going with this today? I don’t even know. Such as it is, but it all boils down to pushing myself forward. I am in charge of my life and only I can accomplish all I want to do. So, on with it!