Revelation

Monday, August 19, 2013

I haven’t taken time to meditate in a very long time. This morning, I ran out of things to write in my journal before 6 a.m. and as it was still too early to go downstairs (or I don’t want to go downstairs this early,) I decided to stay where I was and do a little meditation.

I sat up straighter, (instead of being hunched over the notebook) relaxed my body, and allowed my breathing to deepen. I chose to use a mantra to quiet the mind.  I relaxed further and my body filled with white light. It still works in spite of not having done this in a long time!

Over the mantra and with the further relaxation, I realized how tense I was on the inside.  It dawned on me that I’ve been this way been for the past month and more. As the tension released, the abdominal pains I’ve been having lately lessened. I realized that the pain has been because my stomach has been constantly in knots from grief and worry. It was like I’ve been holding myself tight against further hurt and that, in turn, caused my innards to stay in a state of constant tension. Remaining tight like that causes physical ailments.

The same thing can be said about my heart. The sorrows of the past few years have not been fully dealt with and I continue to hold barriers in my heart against further hurt. That, in turn, helps create physical issues and pain. Again, there’s this holding firm, afraid to move – forward and to let go. And when there is no movement…

The entire body moves and breathes and when parts are held tight, disease sets in. Every part of the body needs to breathe and move. Most movement is subtle, but there needs to be that allowance to expand and contract. If the body is held in tension, the parts turn brittle. It’s like a tool that turns rusty from disuse. This is one of the reasons why exercise is important and it doesn’t matter how strenuous the work out; going outside for a simple walk “gets the juices flowing.”

My Healing Tao training taught me how to be more… in tune… with my inner being. I’ve learned various meditations; for relaxation, dealing with emotions, and enhancing good health.  Tai Chi brings physical movement to meditation in which every organ, system, and energy pathways in the body are worked. Learning these techniques was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself!

I know all this and yet, most of the time, I choose to continue to sit and worry and feel sad. No wonder I’m having physical pain! I no longer do Tai Chi unless I am teaching and I haven’t taught since last summer. Tai Chi is the most amazing thing you can learn to do for yourself, but I don’t take the time. I make the choice to spend almost the entire day at the computer. I have got to change!

Anyone want to learn Tai Chi?