The But Bites

I’ve been a bit… dead… creatively. I received my manuscript back from the proofreader and the critique was what I feared. I knew it and yet I’m still devastated. I haven’t been able to think rationally about it, nor have I been able to look at it since. So both my writing and my drawing are dead at the moment and my photography has even stalled.

Except for one saving grace – I am participating in a 100 Photos 100 Days challenge and that is keeping the creative spark alive. This photography challenge has me looking at things differently which is good as everything I normally take pictures of is not inspiring me lately. 

This challenge is to do only one photo per day (or only one photo can be posted) and what’s great about it is that I don’t even have to leave the house. It’s interesting to see what I can come up with close at hand to photograph. And yes, my kitty, Pele, certainly loves to have her picture taken and I can’t resist. There are four of us currently working on this and it’s fun to see what we post to the Facebook page. We are inspiration for each other.

But, to get back to writing – I AM writing; writing is ME. I am nobody without my writing, so what does this mean that I’ve come up against a major roadblock?

I watched a Hay House video on publishing the other day and one of the comments that stuck out was that Gabriel is the angel of writers. I began praying to him for help and for the past few nights, I’ve had a recurring nightmare. Is it related? (Unfortunately, I don’t remember the dream upon waking. Only the deep emotions stick with me.)

What was weird about last night’s dream is that even after I woke, I kept trying to finish it. Why? If it’s a nightmare, why do I feel the need to finish it? And, of course, once awake, I could not fully go back there. Stop! I told myself and got out of bed to break that negative flow. 

Tears were falling when I crawled back under the covers. It was time to change my thoughts to a positive. I focused on what I want to manifest in my life. Writing a book, writing books, is at the top of the list, and the words that came through to me were, “Finish the book. Buckle down and fix it!”

I’m afraid. I’m afraid to pick up the manuscript and read the comments made by the proofreader. Oh, it’s done with the best intent and to help me be a better writer. I know that and I appreciate her help more than a thank you can say. I know this is just a challenge. I can do it!