A Shift in Perspective

Yesterday’s trip to Exeter went well and photographs were dropped of the NHSPA’s 17^th Annual Photographic Exhibit at the Exeter Town Hall. My feelings around my photography are changing. I’m not even sure what that means yet, but something within me has shifted.

Last year was the year of letting go as I let go my home and moved to a smaller place. I let go of many, many possessions because I no longer have room to store stuff. And by year’s end, I was letting go of previous concepts regarding family and emotions.

This year, 2016, is a year of possibilities – and the possibilities are endless. I have a couple of concrete goals at the moment, but for the most part, I am feeling wide open. There’s a part of me screaming, “What does this mean?” Then a quieter part of my mind is feeling the excitement of what can be. I don’t have to know ahead of time. Hey, with possibility, it can be very much in the moment. 

I realized, as I was getting the pictures ready to bring to the show that photography, my photography, is changing. The subjects I liked shooting in the past no longer mean as much, and yet, even as I say this, I know I will continue taking pictures of them. But something has shifted in my consciousness. 

Maybe it’s how I will actually view the scene when I stop to take the photograph. How I see things through the camera won’t be the same as in the past. Of course, I’m not even sure what this means as I’m writing this. It’s just something I’m feeling – and I’ve been feeling for a few months.

I am thinking (yeah, I think too much) about how much I love the traveling. I want to balance that with staying at home for long periods while I write the books and edit the photos. There are these ideas niggling at the back of my mind, but haven’t become concrete plans or goals.

I feel I’m standing in front of a blank canvas. The paint brush is in my hand and I’m just staring at the blankness waiting for a clear picture to come to mind. I don’t even know what colors to put on the palette yet. Ahhh, this moment… waiting for possibility…

Keeping Warm on Cold Days

The second day of the new year finds me thinking about winter. I wonder why the atomic clock thermometer reads 74 degrees and my feet are cold. I am wearing an extra sweater, scarf around my neck, socks on my feet, and now I’ve added leg warmers and slippers. Is this just a sign of getting old?

I’m used to being barefoot in the house. There are few days a year when I need to wear socks during the day and to have to scuff around in slippers adds another uncomfortable level. Part of my mind wants to be stubborn. I’m inside with a heating system. Doesn’t that mean I should be warm? It is winter and I need to dress in layers – but in the house?

I swore to myself after the past few winters of freezing while in the house during the cold spells and having the thermostat turned as high as it would go that it wouldn’t be so in the new house. I believed with a tighter, newer, smaller house the inside temperature would be more consistent and comfortable. I guess other factors are at play, though.

Those past winters’ inside temperature levels had to do with older home, original windows and wind coming across the field. This new home is in a more sheltered area. Shouldn’t that account for something?

But, I do also need to take into consideration:

This house is on a slab without a basement which means there is little insulation under the floor. The carpeted areas are not too bad, but bare floors as in the kitchen and bathrooms are very cold. The heating system is forced hot air and while the heating ducts may be in the floor, heat rises which doesn’t allow for the floors to warm.

Now, while this is a newer, manufactured home, it is not built as sturdy as older stick-built homes. New materials do not have the old quality standards no matter what they buyer is told.

This will be a winter of assessing the situation as I learn about my new house. I don’t ever want to move again, so I need to pay attention, ask questions, and research options on how to make this the best house for me. I’m already considering finding out if more insulation underneath will help and I am slowly researching heating systems and types of fuel (a subject I’m struggling with and this is one time I wish someone could tell me what to do.) 

I know I definitely do not want something that would make more work as in a wood or pellet stove. I know I need to also consider air conditioning for the warmer months, so do I look for a system that could do both or do I just install a split air system this spring for the a/c and continue research for heat. There are many options and dealing with these types of situations are not in my strengths.

But I’ll get there. It’s always a learning experience. 

Looking Ahead for This New Year

I put off thinking about 2016 (except where I had to make notes of dates) until 2015 was over. This morning, the moment I sat down to write, wishes for the New Year began to pour forth. I don’t look at these as resolutions as I always felt New Year’s Resolutions was setting me up for failure. Not getting things crossed off my list are not failures because it only means something else came along that I accomplished instead. 

I’m big into spontaneity and going with the moment. So I build a list of possibilities, things that would be nice if they happened, but won’t be emotionally devastating if they don’t get done. Plus, it’s only January. What I may want right now might not be something I prefer as the year progresses. Other opportunities present themselves. I do not want to limit myself to set plans. I want to allow for changes; for the ebb and flow of time.

For instance, last year’s list had 15 items on it. I only accomplished five, but those five were huge and took most of the year and all of my energy. I’m still dealing with the fallout as moving a household is a huge endeavor and one which will continue into this year as I Sasha-fy this new house.

There are things that are definitely on any list of good will for the New Year; those same platitudes that everyone prays for: peace, love, happiness, wishing for the best for everyone. I could make a long list of these types of wishes I want for the world, and it is important to want and ask for them.

Then I narrow my focus to the here and now and the more personal future plans. Should the lists be kept secret? Would I jinx my wishes by speaking of them aloud?

One I mentioned above about this new home and another continuation is the writing of the books (two of which are in progress and I’ve an idea for a third). Some of the items not finished from last year will transfer to this year’s list while others might not matter at all anymore. There are new goals to accomplish this year as my work with the InterTown Record expands.

I also need to look at my art career. I’m feeling a major shift and I’m not quite sure where that is headed. Even favorite subjects to photograph are no longer important which leaves me questioning my photography. And what about the charcoal drawings????

Of course, there are the tedious plans (those that are on the lists every year): better organizing and record keeping; striving to be a better person, better artist, better writer;  improving art sales; exercise; and working smarter, yadda yadda.

What new can I put on this year’s list to make it more interesting and exciting? Oh, so many possibilities…

So, what is on your list of 2016 possibilities?