Attempting to get on track

Although I’m not supposed to be thinking about the pictures of the Wichita trip, I never printed them out, so I do think about them. Should I print them all? What’s the sense of having these photos if I don’t have them where I can see them? I put a lot of work into taking the pictures and editing them. Is that all for naught? My mind gets stuck on this stuff.

Black Water, Mo., the day I'm supposed to be writing about

But I have the book to finish writing and that’s what I need to focus on. However, my writing time turned into photo printing, then looking for information I misplaced. My hour to work on the book turned into two hours. 

And of course, there were kitty and gray rat distractions. Now I have to get on with finishing this week’s InterTown work … and I haven’t even had breakfast!

Roller Coaster Writing

I left on my 2015 trip a year ago tomorrow – a year, an entire year, has passed and I am just getting to the end of the first draft of the book. Of course, there were important issues throughout late spring, summer, and fall that kept me from completing the task. “Too Cold for Alligators,” the book about my 2013 trip took a year and a half to write. This book will take as long. What happens when you take a hiatus from a project? How do you get your mind back on it?

My entire life isn’t solely about writing, especially for someone who is not “just” a writer; I’m also an artist and photographer. My job is editor and freelance writer. Then there are the life issues that get in the way and taking time for family and friends. There are also the chores of daily living and surviving. So what does this mean to my life as a writer?

I just couldn’t jump right in where I left off after being away from the writing for six months. I had to re-look at what was previously done to catch up to where I am in the storytelling. I had to get the feel back, get my mind in gear, while at the same time, continuing to deal with settling into the new house, getting the renovations done, and doing the weekly job requirements of being editor of the InterTown Record newspaper.

Other considerations come into play. I get calls to do an occasional photo project. I see scenes which would translate well to charcoal and pastel drawings. I get mail from various venues looking for artists. (I only participated in one show last year and it’s the same one I’m currently doing.) There’s also the other ongoing book that I’ve been working on for a couple of years. What does all this say about me being a writer?

2015 was the Year of Letting Go. 2016 is the Year of Possibilities. A shift is taking place and I’m not totally sure what this means yet. I enjoy being an artist and a photographer. I am professional. But the call to write is very strong and becoming more so. Perhaps it’s time to become more focused on one medium and the first thing that always comes to mind is I AM A WRITER! So, what do I need to do to focus more on my writing?

This morning I went back to a list I started awhile back on what to pay attention to for travel writing. I love making lists, but I am also concerned with the time spent making them. Could the time be better spent doing the actual writing?

Maybe, maybe not; my goal is to improve my writing skills and if I can develop a go to list, it can help when I have to take a hiatus to tend to other life issues. A list will help me get back or stay on track. My mind easily jumps from one topic to another and I often feel I spend too much time refocusing. What kind of shift am I feeling here?

Perhaps focus is the key word. The pull to write is so strong now that maybe it’s time to put the other creative aspects of my life aside. That doesn’t mean I’m giving them up totally and the photography does go with my writing. My desire to be a travel writer and share the information I discover with others is overriding everything else. Maybe it’s time to give in to it.

I am already planning a trip for 2017, so I need to get this book finished and published and I need to finish the New Hampshire book I started a few years ago. Wow, I guess I’ve made a decision here. This year I will concentrate on being a writer and author. (At least today).

It’s All about the Paper

My goal as an author is to incorporate writing with photography. I am not just a writer and not just a photographer. I am both and want to incorporate both! I want my photographs to be embedded with the text. If you are reading about the roundhouse in Martinsburg, W. Va., I want you to see a picture right there without having to search elsewhere in the book. 

But books don’t usually work that way. Pictures are grouped together in the middle or at the end. I couldn’t get it through my head, that why, with modern technology, pictures couldn’t be with the text.

“Too Cold for Alligators” was published in 2014. I insisted the publisher print the pictures on the pages with the text. The proof copy was a letdown. I ended up re-editing all my photos and re-submitting. The second proof was much better though not perfect. I am excited about the book, but there is a disappointment because the pictures are not great. How can I make this better in the next book?

The writing will be slightly improved as I’ve learned much since becoming editor of the InterTown Record. I’ve had to research and study AP Style and rediscover forgotten rules with writing. I decided for my book purposes I will stick with the AP Style as jumping back and forth between that style and the “Chicago Manual of Style,” depending if I am doing newspaper work or writing the book, would be too confusing. What is important is my writing style remaining consistent. 

But what do I do about the photographs? I want to show the readers, not just tell them about the journey. I have taken some great pictures. How can I share them with everyone? 

I need to know more about the printing business. I had the opportunity to tour Puritan Press, a printing company in Hollis on Wednesday. What a great experience, but too much information comes in during a whirlwind tour. I really didn’t know what to expect. There are many divisions, components, departments to the business. To make a simple statement, the many types of printing jobs performed, such as newsletters, posters, art books, reading books, catalogs, letterhead and business cards, have different needs, rules, layout, and more. Five days later my head is still spinning.

“It’s all about the paper,” I was told more than once. What you want printed dictates the kind of paper. Online printing offers the self-publishing author only a couple of options whereas there are many other choices. Price is also a factor as the better quality paper, the higher the price. If you are only writing a novel or something that is just text, then it is okay to go with a standard paper, but to do something with pictures requires higher quality and probably with a coating. 

I had gone with the standard paper for “Two Cold for Alligators,” hence the ink for the images (photos and maps) had a bit of bleed. Coated paper, which holds the color ink better, is more costly and heavier. The weight is a consideration in shipping and if readers need to hold the book or it the publication needs to lie on the table (as with coffee table books and art books). 

Then there is the type of pictures needing to be printed. If you are doing brochures or catalogs showing art work for galleries or museums, then a color editor may be needed (another expense) because of the need to make the printed material as exact as possible to the original. Printers do not all print the same and not all computers are calibrated the same color-wise. How I edit my pictures to look good printed from my printer may not come out well on another printer.

Who knew there were so many issues to consider in writing a book!

“It’s all about the paper!” The research will go on as I continue work on the book. I will learn more about the printing process and available options. 

Writing Styles

It’s not an easy job being an editor. I am constantly learning something new about writing. There may be hard rules in some aspects but other areas are a little gray. Just when I start feeling confident that I know what I’m doing, something comes along to keep me humble.

I came across the word en dash. What’s an en dash? I looked it up. There’s also an em dash, both of which are different than a hyphen. Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?

A hyphen is the shortest of the three and the only one with a designated key on a computer keyboard. It’s basically used to link a compound adjective such as well-known man. An en dash is a little longer than a hyphen but not as long as an em dash. The en dash usually goes between ranges of numbers or scores. The em dash is used to take the place of commas, parentheses or colons depending on the effect desired.

The above is just a basic description of the three. However, other issues come into play. Not all computer keyboards and processors are the same. In Microsoft Word, if I put a space on either side of the hyphen, it lengthens it to a dash. That doesn’t work on the MacBook, though, where typing two hyphens together creates a dash. (Of course, I don’t know if in either of those two cases it’s an en or em dash.) Further reading said operating systems may require going into symbols to insert a dash. Gosh, this is getting complicated.

I went to an AP Style website to research further. This site compared that style with the Chicago Manual of Style of writing. Now I’m in even more trouble. I’ve been using the AP Style while writing my book. Should I be following the Chicago Manual of Style there? It’ll be back to the drawing board with my book and looking up different rules.

I woke this morning with the topic again on my mind. There is writer’s preference. I have so much going on right now that to learn another style on top of learning Mac, packing up this house, and finding a new house is too much to take in. 

Most people aren’t even aware there is a difference in writing styles. I never did or, at least, I never thought about it. I read a book for enjoyment and the style doesn’t matter if it  is consistent, well-written, grammar and spelling are correct, and it’s easy to read. My style will be my style and as long as I follow the major rules, that's all that matters.

Of course, this is how I’m thinking today. Next week may be a different story.

 

Another opportunity at learning

My morning writing has me thinking about the lessons learned over the weekend. I’m always excited when I learn interesting things. I’m willing to admit when I’m wrong, even when embarrassing. If I make a mistake and I am wrong, I’ll own up to it and do what I can to make it right. 

For instance, one of our rules with the newspaper is in only covering local news. I wrote about an event and left out names of those who did not live in “our” area. Someone sent a letter. I feel bad. It’s a wake-up call. Sometimes in my trying to be fair and do things right, I do not look at the entire picture. I’ve been trying to make rules and guidelines stricter than needed. 

1. I realize even though there’s a “rule,” we have to be flexible. Sometimes I need to look at a bigger picture and see all who would benefit from the information. 

2. Trying to be fair and treat everyone (and every town) exactly the same is unrealistic. I was afraid that if we allowed something in one area, it would open it up to others expecting the same. I now understand that each instance and story needs to be treated as its own moment.  

3. I’ve also come to realize that treating everyone the same is not fair. Some people need more molly-coddling (and yes, I fit that category) especially dealing with artists. This is how it is. We are all humans and need to be treated with respect and not put in a box designed to make us all alike. We are not all alike. We may have similarities, but we also have differences and all aspects of a person deserve respect. 

4. One of the reasons I love my editor job at the newspaper is that we pride ourselves in being small-town/local. All of the above has to be realized to maintain the type of integrity we want with the InterTown Record. We want to be able to recognize individuals and not just see a group of people as a whole or entire town. When people are no longer seen as individuals, the individual no longer matters and they become numbers and statistics that are easily written off. 

This is what has happened in this country. Individuals no longer matter and the “good of the whole” has been swallowed by big business marketing and the country’s leaders protecting an elite few. “Good of the whole” is now just a term to benefit whoever or whatever group or business is saying it.

It’s up to us to keep our local flavor and protect our people by giving them recognition when they deserve it and by telling their stories. (And that’s impossible when an organization gets too big which happens with buy-outs and all that... but that’s another subject.) Most people living in the smaller towns do so to have that community-mindedness. We love to walk down the street and have neighbors and passersby wave. It’s great to know that should something happen, neighbors will step up to help. 

I love the opportunity to tell people’s stories and to give them recognition they deserve. Everyone has a story. Everyone has an interesting life. All the media-hype and sensationalism are not needed. Instead of focusing on all the negative going on in the world, how about we tell individual stories of the wonderful people who live around us?

 

 

My mind is on fire with ideas

I crawled out of bed a little later than usual and after grabbing a cup of coffee, I sit in the upstairs writing room doing the daily journaling. Many times, something that was said the day before or some idea intertwines with the journal writing. Also, there are times when the journaling draws out those thoughts even further. My mind is so full that I will also take side notes. 

Side notes are written on scrap paper. I write on the backs of correspondence, old writings in which I have new copies, and even used envelopes as one side usually has clear space. Sheets of paper are ripped in half because I prefer to write in the smaller 5x8 rather than on the full 8 ½x11 sheet. (Journal books are 6x9).

This morning I filled three scrap pieces with notes and ideas to use later. Sometimes I get so involved in writing notes that I lose track of where I am in the journaling. Sometimes I forget to record an event from the day before because I am so focused on these new ideas. I can’t write fast enough. My mind just bubbles over and what I don’t get written down is forgotten.

This morning my mind was again on the new book. I am obsessed with it; the need to get it written, wanting to tell the story, and the desire to show the story with the photographs. That’s all wrapped up with wanting to go back to South Carolina so bad! I want to be walking those trails this time of year when the flowers are coming into bloom and leaves on the trees are coming out. (I’ve only been there in January.)

One of my worries in my travel writing is I feel I am not descriptive enough. When I wrote about the 2013 trip, I often did not have the correct words to describe what I was seeing. Even though I had the photos to refer to, I feel I failed in that aspect. (No, it was not a failure. I am really proud of that book. It’s one of my big accomplishments.) 

The hardest thing in writing a book is the length it could become; the longer the book, the more expensive to have printed. And, one of my goals is to bring the reader with me. So, this time, I am determined to be more descriptive. I want to tell the story, show what I saw with photos, but also describe what I saw and experienced. That experience includes feelings (emotional and atmosphere), smells, and sounds. How do I bring the two dimensional writing into three dimensional pictures to your minds?

What this all means is that the book is put together in piece meal. There were the original notes, the blog, and journal. There are all the photos and deciding which of the hundreds (and I do mean hundreds, perhaps even close to a thousand) to use. Reality dictates that I can only use two to five in each chapter when there can be up to or over 50 good photos for any one day. There are the history segments and facts to research and add.  

Then it’ll be going back over each chapter and using the photos to create fuller descriptions of places and situations. Each perusal of a chapter tightens it up, makes it better, even if it does get longer.

 You will be coming on this journey with me!

Book update

My mind is totally focused on writing about the recent trip. It’s hard to pull away to get other things (like my job, ha ha) done. I’ve spent the last couple of days doing research about areas I traveled the second day and discovered some of my previous assumptions were way off.  

I wanted to know about the elevations and mountains that I-81 traverses through Pennsylvania. Uh, oh, that area isn’t really considered the mountain as I had believed, although there are a few mountains in the areas. This information will be an excerpt in the book. I’m still trying to get an understanding of it all from reviewing the atlas, Google maps, various websites, and geology. I’ve spent a lot of time on this one subject and it’s time to move on.

And so, yesterday, I moved into Day 3. I’ve written the first draft from what was blogged during the trip, written in the journal, and little notations written in the pocket notebook I carry on my person. I edited, earlier this morning, a dozen of the photos taken while driving. Virginia is a beautiful state for photographs. I love some of the scenery along the highway. 

There are the usual issues with photo editing and how I see the pictures on the laptop and the light in that room is different from working on the PC. (The first couple of days of travel I hadn’t saved the pictures to Dropbox which can be accessed by both computers, so those earlier days are only on the laptop.) And there’s always the decision of printing out the photos so I can see them while I’m writing. 

So many decisions that sometimes I get stuck and can’t move. The hardest thing is that there isn’t really anyone to advise me. Friends may make suggestions, but I really don’t know anyone who is doing what I am doing.

Travels with Sasha: Day 1, the leaving

The leaving is hard. There’s always the worry that something will be forgotten. Is everything packed? Were items unplugged that needed to be?

 

The car windows need to be washed and probably should have been done yesterday while it was warmer outside. The rest of the items need to be put in the vehicle and I need to decide which coats and jackets to bring.

 

Pele was being lovable and extra attentive this morning until she was distracted by a gray squirrel. Hopefully, she will be napping when I leave because if she watches me go out the door, I will cry. The big white puff ball will be missed even though my clothes get covered with white fur.

 

This morning it dawned on me that I don’t want to be comparing this trip with the one in 2013. Yes, the route will be the same – unless something catches my attention and I take a detour – but there will be differences. My writing style will be much improved. More attention will be paid to people met along the way.

 

My entire emotional-ness is different this time. There’s a part of me that would like to say forget it and stay home. The excitement isn’t here. Then again, once I get on the road, it’ll become so.

 

So, it’s time to finish what is needed and get on the road. I will check in when I get to a hotel tonight… probably in Port Jervis, N.Y., but you never know.              

Travels with Sasha

The countdown is on! Well, it should have been on, but my emotions about going to Florida have been up and down. There’s the excitement about the traveling, revisiting some places from the 2013 trip, seeing new places, and spending time in Citrus Springs with friends. 

The other side is the amount of work there is to do… or I feel I have to/want to do. I’m in the middle of revamping my accounting and inventory keeping for better organization. There are drawings to do, stories and a book not yet finished, photographs, editing, finding a new smaller house… Oh, there are a myriad of excuses to not go.

But I have to go; for sanity, mental well-being, and to get renewed. A fresh outlook is needed as these past six months have been incredibly busy. I am not complaining. My current job, editor of the InterTown Record, is the best job ever and I work for the most amazing woman! However, between editing, reporting, photography, doing interviews, covering stories, and keeping up with the artist side of my life has energy and creativity levels at a low. 

The newspaper work comes with me and I will always be taking photographs and writing. The change of scenery is what will bring on new inspiration. It’s amazing to be able to travel and still do the job. That, in itself, is exciting and the new book is already started. This one will be much improved over “Too Cold for Alligators” although that book was a great accomplishment. (I’m considering “Not Too Cold for Alligators” for the title as it will be a sequel to the other.) 

So today, Sunday, laundry is being done and as clothes are folded, some will go into suitcases. Other items will be added as a mixture of cold and warm weather pieces will be needed. One of the joys about driving is to be able to bring extra. Portable easel and drawing supplies are already packed and I’m hoping to do some en plein air work. Most everything will be made ready today. 

Tomorrow will be about cleaning the house. It will be nice to come home knowing that. Neighbors will be watching the house and Karen will be coming over once or twice a day to check on things and take care of Pele. Yes, it will be hard to say goodbye to my precious puss, but I’ll be back.  

Leaving day will be Tuesday or Wednesday. Right now I’m leaning towards Tuesday, but we’ll see how tomorrow goes.

Be sure to follow my blog as I’ll be writing daily as I travel. Enjoy!

 

Remembering to have fun with what we love to do

Happy New Year, Everyone! 

The start of the new year is always a time to reflect on the past one and contemplate the current. A lot of artists especially often spend much soul searching in deciding how to revamp or re-inspire their careers. Because art isn’t a need, purchasing art work isn’t a priority to many people. So, what can we do to make sales? 

It’s great to have artist friends to talk over these issues. We support each other and make suggestions; get ideas for trying new projects. Nan McCarthy and I email almost every day and we have great discussions. One of the topics we discussed this week was how it is easy to get so involved in creating work to sell, that we forget to have fun. Yes, we love what we do, but sometimes that goal to “make a living” turns our love of creativity into a “job.”  

Deadlines to exhibits or supplying inventory to a gallery can put added stress on our love of creativity. We can get so mired into producing the next painting that we sometimes forget to experiment and find excitement in the project. We worry if a customer will purchase this picture. We try to find scenes or objects that we think a customer will like. Next thing we know, we are so focused on trying to please someone else that we forget we do this work because we love it.  

There isn’t always a consistent market for artists. Yes, there are those who have a niche doing popular items that sell well, but for most, it’s an upward battle. We may do many exhibits and shows. We may have our work in galleries, but that doesn’t mean there are a lot of sales. 

There is a mental battle, too. We often question ourselves. Is our work good enough? Yes! And yet, we drive ourselves crazy wondering why one month will have good sales and then the next two months will be lousy. We can analyze and beat ourselves up over it, but the bottom line is that it is what it is. It’s being an artist. 

My goal for this year is to improve (as always,) but I also want to make sure to have more fun. I want to go on more adventures. Go out taking photographs just to be out and enjoying the countryside. I want to get away from feeling the stress of what I HAVE to do. Yes, there will still be the jobs, the commissions, the shows and exhibits, but I want to let go of the disappointments when things don’t sell… they don’t always sell… and totally be excited when they do!

Marketing your work can be a struggle

Nobody ever comments on my blogs. I keep reading how blogging is an important aspect these days for marketing your work. I read a piece yesterday talking about marketing and that you should pay the extra money to boost your work. I can’t help but wonder how anyone can afford to do all the extra promotions. I certainly can’t afford to keep forking over money. If I had more consistent sales then maybe more could be spent.

Then there are all the groups and places for membership to “get your name out there.” These are all good organizations to help the writer and artist, but $25 here, $35 there, and $50, $75… it adds up quickly. I’m looking at this coming year and need to figure out where to spend my money wisely. How many artists groups should one belong to? How many area Chambers of Commerce should be joined? And most everything joined means attending meetings which takes up time.

However, the networking is beneficial and it’s just as important to hobnob with those in other lines of business or genres. The community support and the Support Local campaigns help us all to build a strong community. Internet social networking is great, but it’s necessary, too, to get out and make physical contact with others.

A lot of artists struggle with the marketing aspect. Most of us just want to do our work. The world has changed and technology has made some things easier. There are many writers, artists, photographers out there these days and the competition is tough. Still, it’s a great community and most everyone is wonderful about exchanging ideas and techniques. Some are very successful with sales, others not so. I don’t believe it’s because one person is a much better artist. A lot of factors come into play.  

Getting Ready for Another Exhibit

Bouncing back and forth between editing for the InterTown Record, writing other stories and articles, and doing photography, there are times when I feel my eyes are just rolling around in my head. A new book is already started and the one started last year isn’t completed. “Too Cold for Alligators” is printed and for sale, so that’s a huge accomplishment. And of course it’s time to finish up the year-end reports. 

This coming Sunday, two photographs need to be delivered to the town hall in Exeter for the annual New Hampshire Society of Photographic Artists’ show. I don’t have any idea what to bring. The goal in “getting better” in 2015 is to print photographs to mat and frame at 16x20 inches. Previously, they were either smaller or the overall size was 18x24 inches. 

Decisions are hard. Should I print this photo or that one? It’s hard to know what might catch someone’s eye enough that they would want to make a purchase. Every time I think this is the one, it doesn’t sell. People love the pictures, but too few are sold.

Right now, I’m feeling tired. It seems that these past few months have been spent running pictures here and there. There’s the big push to print, mat, and frame. The hustle to get the pieces delivered on time. Then return to pick them up. Once one round is done, it’s time to gear up for the next. 

And, as is often the case, the artist is never totally satisfied. I see the flaws. Oh, if I had just moved that way a little. Perhaps I should have added a little more contrast. There’s always something… but that’s what pushes me to do better next time.

Travel Writing

I read a short piece on travel writing this morning and was pleased that what was said for travel writing for today’s market is what I did in my book “Too Cold for Alligators.” Reading this made me feel that I am, at least, on the right track.

 

The main point that stood out was the importance of connecting to the readers which is something I always strive to do. My goal in writing the book was to bring the reader on the journey with me, and from the feedback received, I accomplished that. It’s not just about describing places visited, but telling stories about the journey.

 

Rereading “Too Cold for Alligators” in preparing for the next journey and book, there are areas to improve. The decision was already made to add more of other people’s stories in the new book and this morning’s piece was reinforcement to do just that.

 

One of the hardest goals will be to use less I, me, and my which will be a challenge in traveling alone. There are ways around it. Oh, not all the time, because it is a personal journey, too, but there’s always room for improvement.

 

“Too Cold for Alligators” is a good book, but the next one will be better!

I have to write, I have to!

     My blogging comes in spurts. I keep telling myself to get better and do it more often, but other things needing to be done get in the way. Sometimes the words are just not running. Also, I often need a comment or something to spark the process that starts the mind babbling.

     There was much on my mind earlier. While upstairs doing my morning writing, showering, and getting ready for the day, a variety of topics screamed to be shared. However, by the time I got downstairs and get set up for working, all those earlier running thoughts have… run away. This happens often – my morning long hand writing triggers much, but by the time I am actually ready to do the technical part of the writing on the computer, my thoughts are elsewhere.
     This is my lesson in getting it done while fresh in my mind and my theory about the muse. When the muse is present, she demands now and will not wait. If I don’t pay attention, she goes away.  I have my morning routine, though. There are certain chores that need to be done before I can sit at the computer. Even when I make notes while doing the earlier writing, by the time I’ve taken that break from the creative process, the muse has left.
     Today, there are a number of topics wanting to be discussed. They push and shove in the back of my mind each demanding to be first. Most have been building for awhile. It’s funny how they all want to be let out at the same time. Which do I choose? Of course, I want to write them all, but an audience will only read so much. Then, too, if there are no responses, the exciting joy that bursts forth onto the page dissipates and I am left wondering why I bothered.
     But I have to! I have to write these things. They do demand to be let out, to be read. I can’t stop them nor do I want to. I always go back to the analogy of the little girl running home with an armload of flowers screaming with joy, “Mommy! Mommy, look what I found!” Writing is that joy for me and my “mommy” is everyone who reads these blurbs and responds.

 Thank you so much.

Learning to Live in a Much Smaller Place

I have over 45 big photo albums. I’ve been taking pictures since the 1970s when my kids were little, plus I have old photos from when I was a child. These albums have been taking up shelf space for years and now that I’m thinking about downsizing, something has to go.

Last night I got two big tote boxes and packed 15 albums so far. My heavens, those boxes are heavy! Later I watched an episode of NH Chronicle on TV. They had a segment on “doll” houses, basically shed-sized cabins, in which some people are now choosing to live and because of the small size, it is minimalist living.

I couldn’t imagine living in anything that small alone, let alone live with someone. Some of them a basically hotel room size; OK for a night or two, but not suitable for spend much time in. However, watching that show has certainly helped me make decisions on my own downsizing.

No. 1 is the fact that I am an artist. My life revolves around my art in all its aspects: writing, photography, drawing, painting, and multimedia. That means I want to pare out anything that does not pertain to my art and personal items.

And that means anything else has to be seriously considered! I’ve lived in good-sized houses for many years now. My “stuff” has spread out into all the rooms and as a multimedia artist, anything and everything can be saved for an art project… which is something I must seriously curb. I can’t save everything, especially as the multimedia is currently the medium farthest down on the list of things I do.

So this morning I got up thinking about all the photos and albums. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I think I want to go through them and throw out photos that are not good or no longer have meaning. If I am lucky, I can downsize to about half. This won’t be just about throwing away pictures, but deleting physical albums and combining the leftover pictures. (No one cares about these pictures… not even me, really.) Still, they are pictures of the kids growing up, pictures of me when I was little and pieces of my life.

And I will feel better cutting down on the space these albums take up. It’s one more step in the downsizing and it needs to be done before I can move.

Long-hand or Type

I was asked the question at an authors’ talk the other night, “Do you write in long hand or do you type?”

That is a question often asked and yet, I was taken by surprised. My rambled answer felt to be a mumble of words that were not taken in. Maybe it was because the expected answer was for one or the other and not an explanation.

But for me, an explanation is necessary. Writing is not a simple process. I cannot just say, “I’m a writer” and leave it at that. There are layers, complexities, and purpose to be considered. I cover a variety of aspects of writing and each one has a different process. “What” I am writing affects “how” I write.

My mornings start out in long hand as I record highlights of the previous day and plan the current day in a journal. There are a few reasons why I feel morning journal writing, done in long hand, is important.

I love the art of writing. I’m a pen-aholic with an array of colored gel and ball point pens. Writing with the various colors is an art to me. Sometimes it’s just drivel, but often the writing takes on life and will go in a direction totally surprising. The journaling is a way of recording my life, thoughts, fears, and accomplishments. It also serves as a reference to the past.

The morning pages are also a way to get all of the previous day’s… thoughts, garbage, what-have-yous… out of my head so that I have clearer thought for the coming day. There’s something about putting the words on the page that frees me. Also, there are times that seeing the words written helps me to understand myself and my perceptions better.

Another aspect of writing in long hand is that there’s something about the process that opens my mind to a myriad of ideas. This is where the adage of “sleeping on it” totally comes true. When I crawl out of be 5-5:30 in the morning, words are already flowing. I have to hurry to get coffee and get to the writing desk. When that writing muse is present, I have to get the words down immediately. I’ll write down a statement someone made or comment on something that happened and the next thing I know, my mind is gushing like water from a faucet turned on full. The words flow and I go back and forth between the journal and making lists on scrap paper of ideas to pursue or things to do.

This journaling usually lasts an hour, then the switch is flipped and I’m done. The words stop flowing. My routine settles in regular chores and taking time for Pele play. If I don’t take the time to give kitty attention, she intrudes on my work and gets in the way being quite a nuisance. I finally settle at the PC to begin the day’s real work. Here I divide time between typing and writing in long hand. The long hand (a recording of the day’s accomplishments) came about because I’d fret over not accomplishing everything on my “to do” list. More things would be added than crossed off. A notebook of accomplishments gives me a visual of what I am able to get done each day. Being able to see how much I really do get done has been a big boost to my self esteem and quells the old “you’re so lazy” voice critic in my head.

The final piece of long hand writing is in the notebook I carry whenever I leave the house. There is always the potential for a story, interviews for the newspaper, or poetry. The notebook also comes out when I’m waiting for the food at a restaurant, if I’m waiting to meet someone, or when I find an interesting place to photograph. (I’ve even occasionally tried to jot down a couple of thoughts when driving which is not a good thing to do, but if I don’t write immediately, I don’t remember.)

Typing, on the other hand, is a different mind-frame. This is the more formal stage of writing when spelling, grammar, and punctuation are important. These days I keep a copy of the “AP Stylebook,” a “Webster’s Dictionary,” and various other notes on writing guidelines beside me or I might refer to www.grammarbook.com. I am always referring to the references to make sure the writing is correct.

Drafts and final versions of stories, articles, meeting notes, and more are done on the computer. Typing is how I write the actual stories. What I love best is the ability to easily make corrections. I am glad for spell and grammar check which help me to be even better at writing. I can write, read, and reread. I can have an immediate word count. I can save the writings for better accessibility and they don’t take up physical space. And the finished pieces can be easily shared!

It’s the typing that brings the writing to a more professional look and will help make errors more noticeable. When I see my words neatly typed out and I reach that point of feeling the piece is “done” then I have accomplished my goal. I am a REAL writer. I am a professional.

A Change in the Song

This week there was a change in my perspective in how I see myself, in how I perceive others as seeing me. I truly feel I am coming into my own. I am achieving and have achieved some of my goals; goals so many years in coming, that I hardly recognize them now that they are near. Oh, I will never be perfect, but I can settle for “being perfect at being imperfect.”

“They Will Never Write Songs about Me” was a poem I wrote 20 years ago. This was my signature poem; a poem that stated how I felt about myself and how I was learning to understand and accept who I was/am. To this day, I cannot read or recite this poem without tears:

They Will Never Write Songs about Me

Sometimes I feel so insignificant

so useless, so unimportant.

I am certainly nobody’s hero,

never one to be looked up to

never to stand out in a crowd.

I will never BE somebody.

I am destined to stand in periphery

and they will never ever write songs about me.

Sometimes I get a glimpse beyond;

a glimpse, a fragile glimpse

of parted curtain, thinning veil.

What is it I see beyond the beyond?

clouded view of what could be,

cannot tell if it’s really me;

fear pulls the shade, no longer free,

and they will never ever write songs about me.

At times I am uncomfortable

when I look upon myself.

Who do I think I am

to dream I can be different?

So I continue to live in shadow

hovering between fear and wanna be.

I know that no one will ever see,

know too, they will never write songs about me.

But, to know I have a purpose

in the greater scheme of life,

to dare to make my stand,

to know I have a choice.

I AM one who lives in both worlds,

I guess it’s my destiny

Living in the periphery

is why they will never write songs about me.                       

Out of the well of darkness

of heartache and despair,

comes words to release the pain, the grief

and it’s these I wish to share:

fame and fortune care not for me,

open heart, open hand for all to see,

Letting everyone know it’s okay with me

that they will never ever write songs about me.

                                                   ---Sasha Wolfe

It came to me as I drove around that I have to be careful when out and about, especially in Bradford. Yes, the vanity plate on my Ford Escape gives me away, but it’s not only that; people know who I am. Those who read the “InterTown Record” see my name as editor, on articles, in my weekly Bradford Neighbors column, and under photos. They’ve seen my artwork displayed at various venues. They’re coming to know me (and I, them) as I search out people to interview.

Yesterday, I realized from the greetings I received that the poem is no longer accurate. I am recognized about town and if people don’t know me by sight, they know my name. (I remember how I felt a couple years ago meeting Laura Jean Whitcomb, editor of “Kearsarge Magazine.” I felt I was meeting a celebrity.)That was a big revelation, an eye opener. Oh, it’s been slowly building, but yesterday’s conversations made me feel a bit like I am a local celebrity. (It’s also humbling to think that. Who am I to think that of myself?)

However, before I get too big of a head, I am also very aware of my short comings. How wonderful it is when people nod greetings with smiles and often speak, but I am terrible with names and it’s embarrassing to admit it. I wait for a hint while they are talking to give me a clue to their name. I recognize the faces, know I’ve met them before, but the names or who exactly they are elude me. It makes me feel guilty. They know me, I should remember them!

I talk about the need for editing and proofreading and yet, I still make mistakes. Every time I write an article for the paper, I worry if I got the facts right, that people will like what I wrote, and I feel bad when I make a mistake. And of course, no one realizes how hard it is for me to actually “go out in the world” to get the interviews or cover a story or event. I struggle with groups. Still, I am making the effort and getting better at it.

Yesterday’s revelation is putting me into a whole different awareness. I want to be more careful how I act (and react) – and I realize that’s exactly what I need to do – act. The acting doesn’t mean I am pretending to be someone I’m not. I would never be comfortable in that kind of a role. This acting means that I have to shine my inner light, not hide behind insecurities, and always be courteous and friendly. I want to appear upbeat and positive. I want to hold my head high and exude a confident, but humble, attitude.

I always want to be nice, but now I am more aware of that need. I have to remember to smile when, for the most part, I am a somber person. I’m happy and content on the inside mostly, but I don’t always portray exuberance. I want to be a courteous driver and smile and wave at people I pass. I want to take my time, let others go first, etc. I want to be known for being a good writer, artist, photography and an all-around good person.

Most of all, I just want people to like me. I want them to like and admire my work. I want to sell my books, drawings, photographs, and other work; not only because of the need to make a living, (which I do need) but for the joy of sharing what I love.

“They Will Never Write Songs about Me” is changing… I am changing, have changed. They never will write songs about me, but people know who I am now or they’ve at least heard my name. I can no longer say, “I will never be somebody…” because I AM somebody. We are all somebodies and we need to know it and own it! I am “living the life of an artist” and that makes me so happy. I love what I do.

A new poem will be forthcoming…

Official Book Signing

Today I worked on what to say during an authors’ night program at the Brown Memorial Library in Bradford on Thursday, Sept. 11 at 7 p.m. I’m sharing the spotlight with another author who recently published a poetry chapbook. We each get half an hour to talk.

The subject of writing is a passion of mine and being limited to half an hour won’t be easy. The time has to also include reading, selling and book signing. Do I talk just about the book itself and the journey? Do I talk about the writing process and getting the book published?

The audience will need to buy a book before getting it signed, and because the library has a policy of no selling inside, the purchases will have to be made outside. (Or they could purchase one online or previously through me.) This is a bit awkward, but rules are rules. I am hoping that locals will pre-buy, bring their copies to be signed, and listen to the talk. I am also wondering if I ought to arrange to show up early (if the weather is good) and sit outside with my books for a bit.

Writing and selling my books is not my first go-round. I’ve written previous books and have participated in library events in the past. My latest book, “Too Cold for Alligators” is more professionally published. (I improve with each.) It’s my first “real” book as the others have been poetry and/or photography. I’m very excited about this latest adventure. I hope Thursday is a good turnout.

Hard copies of the books can be purchased through me, www.amazon.com or www.authorhouse.com. The two companies also offer an ebook version. Type in the title and it will take you to the book. You can even read an excerpt. 

Book Ready for Purchase

“Too Cold for Alligators” finally meets with my approval. Finally! It was a long time coming to get to this point and now I am ready for readers to buy.

I received my author’s copy on Wednesday afternoon and quickly looked at the pictures. They are a little dark, but that could be from my editing. I can’t tell when editing exactly how the picture will print on the book paper. I did lighten the photos and add more contrast to the original pictures. The book is now acceptable (to me) at this point. Even the printed text and maps look better.

Yesterday morning I did a more thorough look and the book passes muster. I am now ready for readers to purchase copies. I have ordered 50 copies and should have the books on hand for the upcoming estate and art sale that will be going on here Aug. 29 and 30. I will do book signings for anyone wanting to stop by and purchase a copy.

Have I learned lessons throughout this process? Of course, I did. I will know to make the photos even lighter for the next book. Maybe if I print a few on regular copy paper, that might help me with how the photos will look on book pages. I cannot trust that what looks good to my eye on the computer is how the photo will print on other printers and papers.

How do I feel about AuthorHouse and such publisher/printer companies? I’m not sure how much to say until all is really said and done. The main thing is that these places expect the authors to do most of the work unless the author is willing to pay a lot of money up front. You have to stay on top of everything and sometimes fight to make sure you get what you want.

That said, AuthorHouse did always come back and work to resolve the issues. One of the frustrations was that that every part of the publishing/printing process had a different contact person and sometimes that person had a slight accent and/or talked fast which made phone conversations a struggle. One guy I could hardly understand at all… which made a long phone call ending in total frustration when I found out he was trying to get $4,500 out of me for “marketing.” However, each person was friendly, polite, and patient. Most of the time, they responded back quickly.

So right now it’s about waiting for the copies of the books then seeing how well they sell. It’s waiting to see how many sell through AuthorHouse and amazon.com, etc. I’m holding my breath… kind of. I sooo want people to like my book!

Please visit AuthorHouse or amazon.com to purchase a copy; available in soft cover print or ebook. You can also read an excerpt. 

"Too Cold for Alligators" Update

I finally heard back after sending updated photographs to AuthorHouse. It only took a week. I opened the file for the new galley to make sure the changes looked good. I thought for sure they’d get it right this time.

These pictures were worse! How can that be? The pictures were all blurry and this time, so were the maps. Why did they alter the maps? It looked like the images were all double exposed, like one image was placed atop the originally. They were all horrible out of focus. This was worse than the first time!

Needless to say, I was devastated. Is this the kind of work AuthorHouse does? I immediately shot off an email and I called. My contact person was unavailable, of course, and I left a message on her machine. When they were first working with me, they’d get back to me right away. This time there was a wait. I guess when everything is early and they are roping people in, the communication is better. I went to bed Wednesday night feeling like I’d been scammed.

Yesterday morning my mind had its usual flow of words and my anger and disappointment escalated. How much time have I spent on this project? How many other projects were left behind? And then to find I am STILL not be done with it? Do I give up? Do I turn into a bitch and rant and scream at them? I was nervous about sending the last complaint and to have to do it again is way beyond my comfort zone. The self-doubt warred with the frustration. Was this a sign my book really isn’t good enough?

Everyone keeps saying I need to stand up and demand satisfaction. This is a year and a half in the process. I can’t just let it go!

I made a list of all my issues so far and the disappointments and after doing my morning chores, I settled at the PC to send off an email. I explained my disappointments, that I felt I’d been scammed, and accused them of talking big and not being able to deliver a sell-able product. I called them amateurish and said if they couldn’t handle images, they should have told me up front. I also asked for my money back.

An apology was received mid-afternoon. She was sorry, but what she sent was a low-resolution file for me to approve, that she should not have sent such a big file through email. She re-sent the higher resolution galley through wetransfer.com (which is what I used to upload the photo file to them) and when I opened the manuscript in that program with the corrections, the photos and mapped looked really good. What a difference! This was more like it and if the book comes out like it looked there, I will be pleased. I signed off on the galley and now it’s waiting to get a printed copy. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.