Last night I fell asleep thinking about the need to be assertive. This has always been an issue for me. Immediate reactions are usually with too much emotion and I worry about coming across as bitchy, whiny, or wishy-washy.
Wishy-washy is how I think I most often come across. I’m so worried about offending someone or making them angry, that I hem and haw over the issue so they write me off. I walk away from situations in which I know I am right, but I don’t have the – hutzpah – to stand up for those rights and demand customer satisfaction. And that can be costly when I’ve paid for something that turns out to not be up to my standards.
Then there are times when I bottle it up so when I do say something, there is anger in my voice and I sound, even to me, bitchy. My bitchy tends to be whiny, so again, I’m not listened to nor do I get satisfaction. Once again I walk away feeling disrespected and not getting customer satisfaction. And, of course, I blame myself; that I’m not good enough. How do they know I won’t fight and argue for my rights?
There are times, especially when making phone calls, that by the time I finally get to a real person, I am so frustrated with all the automated phone messaging processes I am dissolved to tears and can’t talk straight. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all a ruse just to keep customers away. Hey, once they have your money, what do they care!
I’m also afraid of retaliation if I say something someone doesn’t like. My information is out there, people will know where I live, and that makes me nervous.
I admire people who speak up for the rights and demand good customer service. My brother has no qualms to demand satisfaction and if he doesn’t get it, he’ll raise his voice and cause a scene. I envy that courage, but that’s not me. However, it does show he demands and gets satisfaction. I know there are many who are willing to do this. But why should we have to? (OK, don’t get me off on corporate America.)
It does seem that more and more we have to speak up. I’m tired of being a push-over or feeling like companies take advantage of their customers. I’m tired of advertising promises and the products not living up to those promises. I’m tired of having to stand over workers to make sure they do a good job when something is ordered from a big box store and they hire out contractors to do the job (Home Depot, Sears, etc.).
So, back to me being assertive and it started yesterday with the Chinese food I bought the other day. I always get takeout and the first day, I thought it tasted funny and that maybe it was just me. I usually like the food from this place very much. Yesterday, I heated leftovers and it tasted just as bad, and when I cut into a piece of chicken and found tin foil, my stomach turned and I couldn’t eat another bite.
What do I do? Do I call them? But I was in work mode and didn’t want to leave the house. I figured they’d make me bring in the piece with the tin foil to prove what I said and that they’d give me a hard time and make excuses. Also, I’ve heard horror stories of what places do if customers complain about the food. I hemmed and hawed for an hour, then picked up the phone. Of course, she was really nice as I explained I found the meal awful and inedible. I am a regular customer and I did say that if this had been my first meal bought there, I’d never go back. She understood and said she’d make it up to me the next time I come in. I felt better.
However, this is a local place and I am known. How will I be treated when I go to Home Depot and complain about the carpet installers? This one is a huge issue and I have a list of problems and things not right. The install happened in March and I’ve been debating how to handle this one for a month. I’ve called the installation company twice and they came back once. Then once they found out I wouldn’t give them a 10 rating, I’ve not heard another word. Plus, I don’t want any of those people back here at all!
Being assertive doesn’t mean I have to throw a temper tantrum or cry – although, for some reason, that’s what you have to do sometimes (and I can’t help myself because I cry easily when I’m frustrated). Next week I will go to Home Depot and quietly explain my issues and my feeling of not being respected in my own house.
Will it matter to them? I’ll see, but at least I will have told them.
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