I dug in the back
of the closet and hauled out my old swimsuits. When was the last time I put one
on? I went swimming once three years ago and once three years before that. Previous
to that was when I went on my last cruise. When was that? 2002?
I laid the suits
over the footboard of my bed. Maybe I’ll try them on tomorrow morning. Do I
even want to bother? Will these even fit? I can’t picture me at the beach
showing all my whiteness and “full” figure in front of dozens of golden tan
thin people. Perhaps if one of the hotels has an indoor pool and there aren’t a
lot of kids around, I might go swimming.
Me, who loves the
water and loves the way it feels wrapped around my body like a comforting
blanket, will not go swimming around here. There’s no real reason. I just don’t
go. I have no one to go with and I am very self conscious in a swim suit. I definitely
don’t want to be parading this body around in front of anybody.
These days, my idea
of the beach is a long walk along the shoreline just before sunrise.
However, this trip
is about spontaneity. I will remain open to possibility.
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