It’s interesting when I am able to relax and reflect on my state of mind. For a person who normally considers herself happy, I’ve been a wreck lately. One day I’m up and the next day I have to be scraped off the ground with a shovel.
I’m supposed to be happy. I have a new house and will be starting a new chapter in my life. But today I am not feeling it. There is still too much to do here with the packing, plus I’ll be moving into a home that’s not the house of my dreams. Yes, it was my choice. Yes, I settled after weighing the pros and cons.
The home and septic inspections went fairly well on Friday. There are a few issues, but nothing that can’t be remedied. However, it seems that the more time I spend at the new house, the less I like about it. It’s too late now and I wouldn’t back out anyway. I have to live with my decision and it will be okay… eventually… maybe… someday. It will.
The new kitchen won’t go in until winter. The garage can’t be built until next spring at the earliest. I can’t get a plumber to update the bathroom (which needs to be done for personal safety) for a few weeks. I’m going to move into a home that at the moment looks ugly to me. Tomorrow I will call to get a new heating system along with a/c, but that probably won’t be able to be done right away and to move into a place without a/c… well, you don’t want to be around me when I’m hot and miserable.
I know, I know – eventually I’ll get it fixed up. It’s just with my present state of mind, to move into a place that’s not pretty or comfortable will add to that downward spiral. And I should know better. I do know better and I know everything will start to come together after I move in. These next two weeks are going to be hell on me.
Then yesterday I found out that the septic in this current house will be replaced before I move out. The septic guy is going to cut down the crabapple and peach trees that I love. I know. It’s no longer my property, but to see these two trees go will be hard. The birds and other critters that use them have given me much enjoyment. Knowing it needs to be done is one thing, but to actually see the trees gone will be sad. The peach tree was my mother’s. My brother gave her that tree. We brought it here when we moved, but it’s too big to move to my new home.
Oh, these emotions are killing me.
So, one thing I will do this week is go shopping. Shopping is supposed to make one happy, right? I’ll get a new stove and refrigerator, new plumbing fixtures (most current ones leak and they’re ugly), shades for the windows, new bed and bedding, a new couch, and I’ll order new flooring. Maybe I’ll even pick out some paint and primer because those walls definitely need a happy, bright color.
I’ll have to plan painting and cleaning parties for the following week. I’m looking to make the official move-in day Friday, Aug. 28.
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