On Writing

My morning journaling is being interrupted with a writing issue. To be more exact, the writing about my latest trip. After the first couple of traveling days, I had decided I wouldn’t take the time to blog and journal as I had on the previous trips because I thought it was too redundant. I chose to rely mostly on my journal and the photographs.

Now I am realizing that wasn’t such a good idea. I find myself getting confused and having to waste time deciphering particulars. One problem is that mornings, when I journal, my mind is bubbling over with all kinds of thoughts. Those immediate thoughts intermingle with my recording of what went on the previous day. And now, a month later, I feel I’m wasting time trying to sort it all out and it’s taking my focus off of the day I want to be writing about. As an example, when I wrote in my journal about breakfast, was it about breakfast this particular morning or yesterday morning?

Another problem is that I am not totally descriptive in the journaling. That means I am trying to “remember” as I’m writing the story and my memory isn’t what it once was. The previous trips I took photographs of everything including hotel rooms to help in recollection and I did not do that this time. So, for instance, here I am trying to write about a crappy hotel room and I can’t recall the details. 

Also, I’m missing those exact-moment descriptions; the kind of descriptions that are filled with emotions of that moment. And, as many pictures as I do take, for some reason, I am even lacking here. I visited a huge 14,000 square foot Lewis and Clark museum in Hartford, Ill., and what do I have for photos? One; and that is of one of me taken by someone else, and the next museum I stopped, I only have a couple photos taken outside. Both of these places were amazing and I have no pictures to show that.

I don’t know if I want to say I took a backwards step in my writing travelling stories with this trip, but I don’t feel improved. This third major trip feels I missed out on something about the journey – I missed out on a lot. 

OK, maybe I can change that to say: This trip is showing me what/how I want to be writing. I let anxiety get too much in the way. It’s not that I didn’t have stress and sadness on the other journeys, but I let it really get to me this time and it affected my enjoyment of the trip. Of course, looking back and seeing all I did do, it was a very successful trip, but during the actual driving, I was often miserable and unhappy. 

I want to be able to do this again. Oh, not the exact same trip, but I do want to travel and drive. It’s all about the attitude, my attitude. And it’s all about ME, ha ha. I’m my own worst enemy. I have the choice to be happy or not.

I wrote yesterday about over-thinking – which I do a lot. But sometimes, like at this moment, it does help me understand myself more. One of my goals in writing is to be better with descriptions. I wonder what it would be like if, instead of just writing about how I was horribly scared, I described about the why and how I was so frightened (even if it was only about city driving, traffic, and rain – ha, this almost sounds like it should be a song, ha ha). 

Anyway, the biggest thing I am understanding about this latest trip is that it is a huge learning experience! Not just learning about different areas or our wonderful country, but learning about myself as a writer/photographer. I am excited about finishing the story of this trip and then finding another. I don’t know if and when I can go on another major trip, but I so, so hope so! And I so want to be able to convey my discoveries to my readers. I always want to take you with me!