Writing although my Brain is on Overload

I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed lately with all I have/want to do that my brain is on overload. I’m all over the place (in my head) and I struggle with decision-making. I plug away at putting together the latest (at the moment I’m just blogging the story) book writing which will be put it together in a “real” book later. 

Thoughts in my head go ‘round and ‘round until they spiral downward and I crash. There are so many projects and I keep switching the pots from burner to burner, but nothing is getting done… or so it feels. People talk about multi-tasking, I multi-brain task. That just causes frustration because it doesn’t get work done. Sometimes it feels my head is going to explode with everything going on.

Last night I read something interesting. Unfortunately, I was bouncing back and forth between a couple of books and I can’t find where it is I read this. It was something about listening to God and making room in your thoughts to hear the messages. I wish I could remember what she said, but how I interpreted it was: How can I hear what God (angels, spirits, Muse… whatever) is telling me if my head is too full of all that spiraling chatter that is constantly going on inside me? And even if I could hear it, how could I tell it was a “message” when it’s jumbled in with all the other stuff?

This morning as I was journaling, I realized that it is here that I usually get those flashes of what I call Muse-inspired ideas. (Not so much lately as my mind has been so overwhelmed). I think this is because when I’m journaling, my mind is more focused in recording yesterday (less full of crap at that moment) and I’m open to the flow of words. (And also why I work better in the early mornings before my head gets full of everything else in life.) (I know, this doesn’t make exact sense; it’s not quite “it.”)

Hmmm, let me see if I can take this further. I pride myself for being an in-the-moment person, but sometimes, the spontaneity backfires. There’s too much going on, too much I want to do. Decision-making gets harder as thoughts in my brain tumble over one another. I get caught up in the spiral and can’t get out. I crash and burn. The work I do isn’t satisfying. I feel I’m hurrying through it and that leaves room for mistakes or forgetting things. And the spiraling goes down as my thinking gets all tangled and piles up like a clogged drain. I lose the flow.

So, how can I resolve this? Make more to-do lists? I love lists, but the list grows long, quicker than I can cross off items accomplished. Hmmm, the lists, too, are jumbled; a little of this, some of that. It all has me bouncing around.

This almost makes me envy my friends who are more linear-thinking and focus on one task at a time until their projects are done. I am not like that. There has to be a way for me to straighten myself out and continue doing work I love. I’ve come up with a couple of ideas this morning. One has to do with making project lists with each project on its own sheet of paper. This may help me keep my mind (and physically see) the accomplishments I make with each project without other projects getting in the way. It’s a small step.

And another thing I have to stop is letting myself THINK about all the stuff I have to do. Whatever project I’m working on at the moment is the only one I should be thinking about. That doesn’t mean I can’t work on that then go off on another project later. But when I go on to the next project, I need to only focus on that one.

I still have to be me!