The Subject of Weight

A conversation early this morning has me thinking about my weight. Weight is a huge subject in today’s society in relation to health, image, others’ perceptions, and a myriad of other issues. I know how I feel in my mind. I am OK within myself. If and when I make changes, it will be my decision.

I have learned to accept who I am and I actually like myself these days. I am not perfect; there is always self-work to do, but it is mine to do. What are hard for me are other people’s attitudes towards overweight women. It’s hard when I am looked at as if there is something wrong with me, that there’s something to be fixed. I know there are those who look down on me and the comments that are supposed to “help” me make a “better choice,” just make me feel bad and not accepted for who I am.

I wasn’t always overweight. I was always on the small side when I was young. The weight didn’t come (and stay) until after the birth of my second son. It seemed like no matter what I did, I didn’t get thin again and at one point, my second husband complained the weight I did lose made my face too skinny. I couldn’t win.

As the years passed and I worked on self-improvement, I recognized that part of the weight issue is a defense mechanism. Being overweight means men won’t hit on me and wives won’t be jealous. I can be a friend without worry that the friendship will be misinterpreted.

People tend to leave overweight people alone… and there are time I like that.

I also realize comments like, “If you eat that, you’re gonna get fat,” make me want to eat it (or more) just because of that attitude. There was always something in me that wanted to rebel and do something opposite from what others dictated.

I know people like me for me and not because I’m beautiful on the outside. That can be a two-edged sword because physical beauty sells. We all know that. Advertisers have used pretty girls for years to sell their products.

Our entire lives have been filled with the media forcing into us what should be and what shouldn’t be. Beauty and skinny sells. And even though I now know this, the picture in my mind of what beauty is so ingrained; it’s hard to not to continue to see that as the only beauty. 

More work is needed and more discussion. There is more to say.